10 Questions Best NOT Asked On a Gay First Date

gay date first date two guys on a date

Gay Dating Tips

By: Angel M Rodriguez

Let’s face it, getting to know someone new is often easier said than done. One big challenge is getting past the initial awkwardness. Once that happens, you then need to go through the process of revealing personal information about yourself that may or may not work in your favor.

That’s why it’s only natural for the both of you to ask questions as a way of screening for compatibility. Hey – there are basic things that you need to know, right? For example, where does he live? Does he have a job? Is looking for something specific? Those seem fine, don’t they?

But are there some questions that you should avoid on your first date because they have the potential to do more harm than good? It turns out the answer is yes.

What follows are 10 of these questions. Some may seem obvious while others will cause you to pause and reflect. Read them all in order to fully absorb the deeper message. Are you ready?

Let’s jump right in!


1. Do you go on a lot of dates?

Clearly those other dates didn’t work out if he’s there with you now. Don’t try and force conversation by asking this question. There are other things you could ask him that could get the talking going.

This is not a great way to start a conversation and puts the guy you are with in an uncomfortable spot.

2. Have you ever been in love?

If he’s been in love before, it’s over and in the past. Plus, it’s not something he’s gonna want to talk about on a date with someone new. You have to ask yourself, do you really want him talking about another man while you’re trying to get to know him?

Plus, isn’t this question kind of corny?

3. Why are you still single?

You may have asked this with good intentions but ultimately, asking it will generate a bad outcome.  Why is anyone single? Everyone has their own reasons and we all have our ups and downs. Being single isn’t a bad thing, but rushing into things can be.

Just don’t go there.

4. What dating apps do you use to meet guys?

If you are asking this, you are making a major faux pas. There are tons of apps and websites geared towards gay dating. Some have different vibes than others. What’s important is that he’s sitting in front of you right now and not sitting on some app.

Why do you need to know this?

5. Are you looking to settle down?

Careful with this one, you can come off as desperate as well as someone who wants to get married right away. This is a red flag for many people. You shouldn’t have any talk about settling down or getting married on a first date.

You’ll be able to assess if he’s emotionally available and ready down the road, provided the both of you feel like it’s a match.

6. Tell me about your ex.

JUST NO! Leave the past in the past. Don’t be that person who just doesn’t know when to shut up and bring up people you shouldn’t. When the time and place is right, he’ll open up about this information.

And if he does share past relationship info on your first date, you’ll at least know that he offered it spontaneously.

7. You should follow me on social media.

No, he shouldn’t and neither should you. If you say this, you are sending him the message you are an online stalker. Leave room for some mystery. Try and get to know him in person and not through Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat.

Don’t you want something real instead of virtual anyway?

8. Are you a top or bottom?

Believe it or not, this is a question that is often asked on a first date. In fact, some guys ask this as a kind of pre-date question. But is knowing if he’s a top or bottom really going to help you understand him.

Plus, the minute you start going in that direction with your questions, you are sending him the message (intentional or not) that you are more interested in sex than dating. Save this for the moment when the two of you have reached a point where it’s appropriate.

9. How much money do you make?

Talking about money is a turn off. You can ask what he does for a living, but asking about his annual earnings could make him think you are keeping score or looking for a daddy. And who needs to play the game of comparisons at this early stage?

You’ll be able to figure out his money situation over the course of time. That means getting to know him first and building trust over the course of time.

10. What’s a good size for you?

Oddly enough, some people think this one is OK to ask on a first date. The problem with the question is that it makes a lot of assumptions and sets the both of you up for an expectations match. Not to mention that it serves as a gateway to point number 8.

Don’t be a size queen. If you’re looking to really meet a nice guy and start something new, asking this question isn’t gonna help you get there.

Angel M. Rodriguez is a freelance writer in Los Angeles. He writes horror, comedy and online articles. He’s a horror movie fanatic. Wes Craven & Stephen King are his inspiration. He’s a contributor for Review Weekly.


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