Gay Relationship Mistakes To Avoid
By: John Hollywood
Gay relationships are often difficult to come by and hard to maintain. That’s why if you are lucky enough to be in one, you want to avoid doing anything unnecessarily upsets the apple cart.
But that’s not to say that mistakes don’t happen because they do. To keep it real, all of us make blunders when it comes to love and romance. Some of those mistakes are unavoidable, like becoming a little jealous the first time someone hits on your man.
However, there are some errors that are more serious than others – mistakes that have the potential to erode the foundation of your relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice to know what they are? Well, look no more because we’ve got five of them listed here.
Check this out:
1. Stop catering to your boyfriend
Catering to your boyfriend might seem like a good way to keep your man happy, but it’s actually chipping away at your romantic foundation. Continually saying yes to his requests sends the message that you are submissive and therefore, unequal. Deep down inside, is that what you really want?
If you’re always the one giving in and doing what your man wants, he’s going to get used to getting his way. Down the road, when it comes time to advocate for yourself, you might find it difficult to get him to agree because he’s so used to having all the power. Bottom line – if you don’t set the tone of compromise from the start, it may be hard to do later.
2. Stop being clingy
Being clingy with your boyfriend is not healthy and very appealing. If you are clingy because of long standing insecurities, it may be something you’ll need to work on with a trained professional. That’s because you may be dealing with codependency, which left unchecked can slowly start to make you less desirable.
Not sure what codependency is or if you have it? Check out this codependency checklist. Bear in mind that there’s a big difference between being supportive and being downright needy. The latter is the one you want to avoid.
3. Stop nagging your man
Men hate to be nagged. If your boyfriend said he will do something, don’t continue asking him until he finally does it. Trust that he will get it done and leave him alone. When a guy says he will do something, he might not mean at that exact moment.
Don’t stand over his shoulder when he does whatever you asked him and then tell him how to do it. This is a habit that can make your boyfriend feel like a child. Do you really want to take on the role of parent instead of his boyfriend? Each time you nag him while hovering over his space, you are placing yourself in the role of mommy and it’s a real turnoff.
4. Stop taking your boyfriend for granted
The longer a couple is together, the easier it is to take each other for granted. Make sure that you continue to appreciate the little thing he does the way you did when you first started dating. If it feels like some of the spark has left your love life, try some new things to create positive change. See our post on breathing fresh life into your gay relationship.
FYI: Don’t ever turn a nice gesture into an expectation, even if he does the same thing for you every day. You should always appreciate the loving things your boyfriend does for you and let him know. If he senses you don’t value his efforts, he may just stop doing them. Think of that the next time he brings you a cup of coffee.
5. Stop thinking someone “Better” will come along
One of the biggest relationship mistakes gay men make is half-hardheartedly dating someone because they think someone better will come along. If you genuinely like a guy and he likes you back, why are you looking elsewhere?
The truth is nobody rates a 10 in every single category. We’re not suggesting you “settle” for someone but on the other side of the coin, don’t sabotage a good thing because you’re hoping to find perfection. It doesn’t exist.
The simple reality is that finding someone special in our finicky, competitive gay world can be daunting. When you do connect with a guy romantically, it’s important to nurture what you have in a way that sets up success for the long-term.
And it doesn’t hurt to learn as much as you can about gay relationships. One book we highly recommend is Gay Dating Success by Oliver Bird. Inside, you will find lots of practical insight on the ins and outs of gay dating and relationships with tips that are designed to help you work through the roadblocks.