Say these things if you want to keep him
By: John Hollywood
Telling your boyfriend those three little words: “I love you” is no doubt important. And hearing it back means a lot, particularly when it’s said for the first time. But if you really want to keep the fires burning, you’ll need to use other phrases, combined with actions, to keep your guy for the long term.
In the case of gay men, here are seven things your boyfriend really wants to hear that go beyond “I love you”. How many of these do you say?
1 “I’m proud of you”
Telling your man your proud of him for something he’s working on is important. These words demonstrate that you are tuned into his efforts while offering encouragement. What’s more, sharing your pride in his accomplishments keeps him motivated. Has he packed on muscle, lost weight or kicked a habit? Let him know you are proud of his efforts!
2 “You’re beautiful”
Who doesn’t like receiving compliments? But if you have been with your boyfriend for more than a year or two, it’s easy to forget to offer them. If you truly love your guy – let him know he looks beautiful spontaneously, even when he thinks he doesn’t. Try it first thing in the morning while his hair’s a mess and his eyes are still puffy. Guys – when you say this – that’s real love.
3 “You can do it!”
Sometimes, being a boyfriend or husband to another guy means taking on the role of cheerleader. Your encouragement really does matter to him. Think of this the next time your man wants to cut down on carbs or increase his visits to the gym. And don’t forget to help him celebrate the important milestones along the way. Example: If he wants to lose 10 pounds and has already shed 5, cheer him on!
4 “I really appreciate you”
Does your man wash your clothes? Does he take care of the dishes, throw out the trash and mop the floors? Is his job to walk the dog? If you have answered yes to any of these things, when’s the last time let him know his efforts matter? Saying “I appreciate you” tells him you really give a sh*it. One of the reasons relationships fail is because one or both parties don’t feel appreciated.
5 “Let me pay for it”
When is the last time you reached for your wallet to pay for his cup of coffee? How about the meal you two shared at the local restaurant? Do you whip out your debit card for movie tickets or does he? You get the point. Offering to pay for outings (particularly if he’s the one who always does) sends a powerful message of affection in the relationship. It also changes an unhealthy dynamic where codependency may be at play.
6 “I was wrong”
Are you one of those guys who just can’t seem to admit fault? Do you go out of your way to cast blame on others instead of accepting personal responsibility? Guess what – it’s a huge turn-off to your man and doesn’t demonstrate love but instead, narcissism. All of us make mistakes. Why not own up to yours and show your guy your man enough to do it? Doing this will strengthen your relationship bonds and fortify greater trust.
7 “I’ve got dinner”
It’s easy to fall into a routine where you let your man cook all the meals. On the same token, it’s also easy to keep ordering out. After a while, it can get kind of dull. If you truly love your guy, why not turn things around and cook for him? Even if you aren’t the best chef, there’s always simple meals you can create that are dummy proof. Try making his favorite meal one night and serve it up with a kiss.
Summing Things Up
Telling your boyfriend I love you certainly matters. But as the old proverb goes, what good is faith without works? Show him he matters by going beyond mere words and become an active participant in your relationship.