Getting Your Boyfriend to Hit the Gym
By: Conrad Braxton
Are you a gay man with a boyfriend who has fallen out of shape? Have you noticed that more and more, his muffin top seems to be getting larger? Have you wanted to say something about it to him without coming off as some kind of fat shaming jerk?
If you are nodding your head yes to the questions above, you wouldn’t be alone. One of the most difficult things in the world to do is talk to your man about weight issues.
After all, you don’t want to activate his body image issues, right? But you also don’t want to sit idly by why your guy continues to blow up like a Macy’s Day float.
So how do you talk to your boyfriend about this delicate topic without hurting his feelings? What follows are seven different suggestions that have been culled from a variety of sources, including websites like Psychology Today and Live Science.
Some of these tips may seem obvious while others will cause you to pause and reflect. Read them all in order to fully absorb their deeper context. Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. Tell him you need a workout buddy for support
Even if your example of staying fit doesn’t seem to be enough to get your man motivated to work out, asking him to join you for encouragement just might. Tell your guy that you feel much more enthusiastic about working out when he is along for the ride. Example: Let him know it would be a lot of help if you had a spotter you could trust at the gym.
Besides, working out together is just another excuse to spend quality time together. If your man is the compassionate type, he may be willing to go along with you just for moral support.
2. Express your concern about his health, not his weight
If you tell your partner that you want him to hit the gym because he’s getting a little round, chances are he’s gonna get hurt and then pissed.
Instead of expressing your concern about his physical appearance (no matter how much this may be the case), make it a point to let him know that you want to keep him around and healthy for as long as possible. You could even go as far as scheduling both of you a full physical just to get the ball rolling in the right direction.
3. Use jealousy to your advantage
Does your partner have a bit of a green-eyed jealous side when it comes to you getting attention from other men? If so, use his jealous nature to your advantage. Try casually dropping comments about the big stud who is always watching you doing cardio or how many hot and sweaty guys make passes at you when you are in the middle of a work out.
It may be a little mean and perhaps a bit juvenile but sometimes you have to reach for jealousy if you want to get your man to move to a place of action. Obviously, use discretion with this suggestion. If you think it will start a fight – skip this one.
4. Find a workout routine he would enjoy
When some guys think of hitting the gym, the only thing that comes to mind is grueling hours of pumping iron or running on a treadmill. In real life, however, gyms and fitness centers offer a plethora of different workout activities that cater to varying preferences.
Whether it is a Pilates, yoga, boxing, or free-range fitness, you should be able to find some activity that will encourage your guy to at least check out the scenery at the gym. Pick up a few brochures about different fitness classes that are offered in your area. Make sure he knows just how flexible getting in shape could be.
5. Cram in a gym visit in when you go out
There is no harm in stretching the truth a little and creatively making your schedule so tight that you just cannot make it to the gym at any other point in the day until your partner is with you.
This tactic may sound a little shady, but sometimes all it takes for someone who cares about you to mimic your behavior is to see you in action at the gym. So if you manage to make a sudden stop at the gym for a workout, he may wander in with you and find some interest in fitness.
6. Drop hints about the advantages of getting fit
Whether it is a men’s fitness magazine with interesting articles about how fitness can change your life, pictures of guys cut and chiseled on your phone, or a blog entry explaining the sexual benefits of being healthy and strong, these small little hints left around the house where he can find them could get him thinking. Even if you two are vanilla, you can easily speak to this with a few gentle hints.
If you do not think your partner will take too kindly to you being an obvious nag about hitting the gym and getting into shape, small hint-dropping tactics could work in your favor.
7. When all else fails, make a friendly bet
If you have tried everything you can think of to get your partner to the gym and nothing seems to be working, throw a playful bet into the mix.
This is especially effective if your guy has a competitive edge and does not like to lose at anything. Start making bets about how you can bench press more, stay on a treadmill longer, or hold out in Pilates class easier than what he could. You may inspire his competitive spirit enough to get him up and moving.