If you don’t own a lube launcher, you should!
By: Kevin in Miami
Are you a gay man that’s into anal play? Do you like bottoming for guys but struggle with size? Does pain get in the way of having a good time?
Well fret no more because I’m going to tell you how to ride super hung dudes like rock star! What’s more, I’m going to tell you how to mount men that once used to be the stuff of fantasies.
Related: Anal tips for riding a guy
You see recently, a f**k buddy top guy I know named Eddie introduced me to something that changed my sex life.
I’ll tell you a little about me first and then explain how a brilliant simple device called a lube launcher let me bounce on dudes that were once unthinkable.
OK so if I had to describe myself, I guess you could call me your generic 30-something white gay man. While I don’t pretend to be a body builder, I do try to take care of myself.
Generally speaking, I am pretty versatile. And I’m not one of those gays who claims to be vers but pulls a bait and switch during the hookup. I honestly like both.
And in case you are wondering, I’m not enormous. Just a little over 7.5 with a decent sized girth. Not small but bigger than average.
On the bottom side of things, I started riding guys when I was around 20. Those first couple of times were difficult because of pain. But after a while, after I learned some of the basics of butt play, things got better.
But here’s the thing. No matter how much I tried, I could never ride guys who were super big. It’s not for a lack of effort. When I was 25-years old, I spent an entire summer in Costa Rica on a mission to mount the thickest ponies possible.
But honestly, the most I could ever get inside of me was about 8. Worse, if the dude had wide girth, it was game over. I know that may seem silly but it’s true. No matter how much lube I put on his stick or around my anus, I simply couldn’t do it.
But around six months ago, all of that changed. You see this guy I met on Grindr showed me a trick that allowed me to bottom for guys that were giants.
I met Eddie on one random Saturday night while hanging out on Grindr. He’s early thirties, half Cuban and Puerto Rican. The dude works out every day and is built like a brick sh*it house.
While not an exact match, he has a similar look to baseball player Javier Baez – the Cubs infielder rumored to be carrying one of the biggest baseball bats in the MLB.
Eddie is also masculine, dominant and the type of man that likes to take charge if you know what I mean. And because he’s into versatile guys like me, he decided to hit me up.
So as the two of us got to chatting, he asked me if I would bottom for him. Like I always do, I requested that he send me some pics so that I could see what I might be dealing with.
All I can say that that after looking at the goods, my jaw dropped. That’s because Eddie has one of the most enormous d*cks I’ve ever seen.
Just to give you an idea, here’s a NSFW link to a photo that is pretty much a carbon copy of what I’m talking about.
In any event, upon seeing the pics I told Eddie “No”. From my own personal experience, I knew there was no way on earth I could ever sit on something that large.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I didn’t want to do oral with him or other things. But just the thought of riding him was painful.
I explained all of this to Eddie in an honest and transparent way. He was super cool about it but kept gently asking. What changed things for me is when he said:
“If you let me try, I’ll show you how to bottom without pain”
If you’re into the hookup scene like I am, you already know that guys make promises all the time. “Let’s just meet and if it’s not a match, we’ll part ways.”
But there was just something about him that made me trust what he was saying. I figured I didn’t have anything to lose so I cleaned myself out good.
Related: Anal Douche Guide for Gay Bottom Men
About two hours later, after arriving at his condo in Little Havana, we started to get down to business. It didn’t take long for me to get intimidated.
That’s because his pics didn’t do his meat justice. He was actually BIGGER than what was shown in his photos. I know that may sound crazy but I’m just telling you how it was.
In fact, Eddie was so large that I had to stop oral on him because my jaw started to hurt. Ever do a guy who was that big? Then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
So at some point, he got behind me and started to rub his stick up against my backdoor. I was already bracing myself for the worst.
Over the course of my bottoming life, I’ve learned that even small to average size men can cause a certain amount of pain.
But then, while he was feeling around back there, he told me to do something.
“Yo bro – I want you to bend over while I put some lube in you.”
Feeling OK with this request, I figured he’d do the usual and line my anus with some silicone lube with his finger. That’s what most guys do from my experience.
However, that’s not what happened.
While I was bent over his bed and in a very vulnerable position, Eddie pulled out something that looked like a syringe. It was blue in color and plastic. I was like, “WTF!?”.
Sensing I was nervous, he told me to “chill” and to trust him. “I’ve got this bro, just let me do my thing. Now hand me that bottle of lube on the nightstand”.
Still unsure, I grabbed the bottle and passed it back to him.
Curious, I watched in the mirror and saw him easily extract the liquid with the device. Then, he put a little lube on his finger and moistened the area around my hole.
“You aren’t going to feel this at all poppy,” he said in a reassuring voice.
And he was right. While there was a slight sensation of something going inside of me, I really didn’t know what was going on back there.
“All done” he said with a grin. “Now take a deep breath!”
I could see in the mirror he was putting on a rubber ring. I’ll admit, that freaked me out a bit because he was already rocking major petrified wood.
Then, he started lubing up his monstrous stick with desensitizing lube. All I could do is brace myself for what was about to happen.
Before I knew it – Eddie was inside of me. And I’m not talking about a little either. I saying he was completely inside of me, all the way up to his shaft.
I’ll be honest with you. I only lasted about 5 minutes before I squirted out. And of course, once he saw me doing that he released too.
Hey, we’re both on PREP and previously agreed to do it condom free so don’t judge.
Once we were done, Eddie and I hung out on his bed. About an hour later, I found myself crawling on top of him. I can’t explain it but I was like a wild jackal.
It was awesome! Part of me was turned on that he was down with seconds. The other part was that I wanted to do it too and could handle such a monstrous beast!
I was so worked up from all that had happened that I ended up stroking out a wad because I was still amazed that I was able to accomplish what I did.
Since that encounter, Eddie has rocked me several more times.
But he’s not the only one.
Guys that I had previously turned down on Grindr due to their size have been re-contacted. While none of them are Eddie’s size, a few of them are close.
I won’t belabor the point because I think you get the idea. All I’ll say is that if you have turned guys away because they were too big, you don’t have to do it anymore.
Here’s why. Lube launchers allow you to do things you never thought were possible.
Here are 7 ways my lube launcher makes bottoming for giants possible:
- It injects the lube deep into my butt with no spills
- The decent 5” shaft goes in with zero pain
- Once injected, the lube covers all parts of my anal wall
- Because I am desensitized, I don’t the “sting” of insertion.
- The launcher helps to loosen up my sphincter
- My tops don’t worry about hurting me
- I feel more confident when riding
If you are the type that really struggles with pain, you can try using the lube launcher with Boy Butters extreme desensitizing formula.
I have a FB named Todd who used to beg me to top him. But because of my size, we had to stick to oral. Last week, I pulled the same trick on him that Eddie did on me.
The end result? I shagged him like a crazy man and he didn’t freak out once!
This winter, we are going to Puerto Rico together on a vacation and can’t wait to see what we can accomplish!
Now go find a giant and ride him like a bro. Find the biggest man you can in fact. Make sure you use a lube launcher and the right type of lube. I promise, you’re gonna freak yourself out with how much fun you’ll have.