These are the 7 secrets of straight men who get bro jobs. How many of these do you know?
Not too long ago, we shared with you a reader’s inside tips for giving straight guys bro jobs. We also provided insight about why so many self-described heterosexual men hook up on the DL.
But what wasn’t shared were their most closely held secrets – until now.
Specifically, we’re talking about things straight guys don’t ever want getting out to the public. Why? It’s pretty simple – it would expose their underground activities and put them at risk for being tagged as “gay”.
In this article, you’ll learn about:
- Straight psychology and sexual labels
- Heterosexual male definitions of cheating
- The role of perceived masculinity and sexual behavior
- How the “bro code” operates
- Straight guys with anal curiosity
- Why weed and gay sex don’t count
- The “gay for pay” permission slip
Are you ready to learn the 7 things straight guys who go gay don’t want you to know?
Check this out.
1. They don’t consider themselves “gay”
No surprise but worth mentioning all the same. Self-identified straight men who let other guys drain them don’t consider themselves gay.
In fact, recent research suggests a good chunk of them wouldn’t even describe themselves as “bi”. Instead, they’ve mentally reframed their behaviors as:
- A way of “helping” a buddy out
- Something to relieve stress
- Something “random” that happens
2. They don’t think they’re cheating
Because straight men who hook up on the DL are often involved in an opposite sex relationship (married, girlfriend, etc.) many guys who partake don’t feel what they’re doing is cheating.
Instead, they’ve learned to rationalize their behaviors by convincing themselves that getting drained by another dude is a kind of free spot on the bingo card.
Why? Because cheating (according to their definition) would have to involve a woman.
Based on studies, here’s what you’ll commonly hear from many of these men on this topic:
- “If it’s not with a chick, how can it be cheating?”
- “Oral from another guy doesn’t count”
- “Getting a BJ isn’t the same as real sex”.
3. They equate masculinity with sexual orientation
In my own reporting of straight men who like getting bro jobs, many of them put a huge premium on masculinity. Some of these feelings are tied to strong undercurrents of homophobia.
Have you ever been told, I can’t believe you’re gay, you don’t “act” like it? That’s the mindset we’re talking about. And according to a study conducted by Tony Silva of the University of Oregon, it permeates straight thinking, particularly in rural settings.
“By having sex with men like themselves, and in particular ways, they were able to interpret their sex with men as straight and masculine.”
4. They use the “Bro Code” as a shield
If you’ve ever been around straight men, you likely know that in group settings, there’s certain topics considered “safe” and others that are never to be brought up. It’s all part of the bro code.
Examples of safe topics include women, sports, action movies, construction, cars, grilling or anything hyper-masculine.
Related: Top 10 reasons straight men go gay
Unsafe topics might include emotional issues, baking, sowing, grooming, men’s physiques or anything viewed as “effeminate”.
This same bro code acts as a shield for men who go gay. Not only does it stop guys from talking about their experiences, the code also stymies gossip.
5. They’re curious about anal
What’s interesting about straight guys are how many of them are curious about anal. Except that’s not what they call it. In the world of straightdom – it’s known as “pegging”.
This activity involves the dynamic where a woman wears a strap-on device and penetrates her man. And because the men who are getting “pegged” aren’t getting the real thing (aka a real penis), it’s falls outside of their definition of “gay”.
So what exactly is their definition? Well, for many heterosexual men, being gay means being on the receiving end of anal.
Paradoxically, many of these same men are open to topping another guy. Why? Using the strict definition of “gay” described above, as long as they are pithing and not catching, they can call themselves “straight”.
We know this to be true because in the late 1990’s, researchers popularized the acronym “MSM” [men who have sex with men] so that guys could more freely talk about their same sex encounters without the dreaded “gay” label.
6. Weed makes it “OK”
Believe it or not, straight guys who receive and sometimes give “bro jobs” often do so while using 420. You may be wondering why?
Well, it really boils down to a cultural thing – and it goes something like this. If you mess around with buddy when you’re high, it doesn’t count.
That may sound silly but it’s true. Thus the term, heteroflexible. Click here to learn more about heteroflexibles.
Basically, weed is a kind of MSM permission slip. Make sense?
7. Gay for pay doesn’t count
In the world of gaydom, we often hear the term “gay for pay” but what does it really mean? Basically, it’s a situation where a man who describes himself as straight “goes gay” for a specific dollar amount.
Related: Gay for pay with the lawn guy
But to straight guys, they don’t consider what they are doing as “gay” at all. Instead, it’s more like a “gig”. And when we look at the narrative reports of guys who go the gay for pay route, we discover it usually follows a behavioral pattern.
While this isn’t meant to be the complete list, the three activities mentioned below are the biggies. Gay for pay commonly involves:
- Muscle worship activities
- Getting orally serviced
- Performing in front of a camera (adult video, “cyber shows”, etc.)
In the book, Not Gay, by Jane Ward, she painstakingly examines these types of dynamics in copious detail. See Amazon for more info.
Straight men who go gay do so by choice. But because they fear being labeled, they’ve come up with their own way of rationalizing their same sex behaviors.
We can call them “closet cases” all we want. But the truth is, many of these men have learned to adapt in order to get their sexual needs met.
Just think of the latest buzz-term – sexual fluidity. Five years ago, would have saw that one coming? We wonder what’s next on the horizon?