Bro jobs are the main staple of men on the DL
Bro jobs – it’s a term that’s become infused into the American lexicon. While we often hear this word, what does it really mean? And for that matter, are bro jobs confined to just straight men?
Recently, we presented a piece that focused on this topic in our article, how to give a bro job with 5 tips. The step by step guide offered unique insight into an area that is often not discussed and widely misunderstood.
Given reader interest and the amount of feedback from website visitors, particularly from men who identify as straight, we thought it might be helpful to expand and dig deeper.
In this article, here’s what you’ll learn:
- Definition of a bro job
- Why straight men give and receive bro jobs
- Motivations from straight men on the DL as told through personal stories
- Definition of the bro code
- Popular conduits to bro jobs
- Expert thoughts
Before continuing, you may be tempted to think the entire bro job topic is the stuff of gay men’s fantasies. While there certainly are bromantic elements at play, the truth is straight men are involving themselves with gay sex more and more.
Recently, researchers from the CDC interviewed nearly 9,000 men and women between the ages of 18 to 44. Of all the men interviewed, 6.2 percent of respondents reported they had engaged in in a same sex act at least once during their lifespan. And of that 6.2 percent, 2.3 percent identified as straight.
So as you can see, there’s more than wishful thinking going on.
Bro Jobs: What Are They?
A bro job can be defined as oral sex between two men that are friends or casual acquaintances. In order for a bro job to occur, one of the men must technically identify as straight.
Therefore, a bro job can occur between a straight guy and a gay man or occur between two straight guys. A bisexual-straight combo is also possible.
The etiology of this word can be traced to the phrase blow job, with “bro” introducing the male on male dynamic.
Bro jobs usually contain the defining characteristic of being “NSA” and non-committal. They do not need to be reciprocal in nature, but often are.
Straight Guys on the Bro Job DL
Now that you have a working definition of what bro jobs are, let’s turn our attention to the “why”. In other words, why do heterosexual men give bro jobs and hook up with other men on the DL?
To find out the answers, we interviewed five straight identifying men who agreed to speak to us on the condition of anonymity. We wanted to know what motivated their behaviors and how to better understand the hidden world of the “bro code” as one guy told us.
FYI: The bro code is an unspoken set or rules about straight male behavior.
Let’s jump right in!
1. Release of pressure
Sometimes, straight guys will gown down on each other to help relieve pressure. Not only is this mentioned in the literature, it’s also a reoccurring theme we’ve heard from multiple men.
Stan (alias) who is a 23-year old college athlete who has been letting guys drain him out since he turned 18. “It’s not a big deal. I do it because it’s a huge release,” he explains. “There’s a couple of guys on my football team that do it. That doesn’t make us gay.”.
Related: Straight boys going gay open up
When asked if he gives other guys bro jobs, Stan says, “It’s only fair. But it’s not like I go looking to give them. When they happen, it’s usually more of a mutual thing. Not sure how else to explain that.”
One of the big reasons straight guys reach for bro jobs is the uncomplicated nature of the act. Kevin, a 35-year old straight former army infantrymen living in Tampa helps readers to understand some of the psychology behind guy on guy oral.
“I’ve been getting bro jobs since I was 20-years old. It started back when I was I enlisted in the service.” He pauses and then adds, “What, you think guys just spank their monkey?”
Related: Straight guys who go gay: 10 reasons
Kevin goes on to offer more insight. “Most of us do it because the sh*t is uncomplicated. You don’t have to worry about an emotional connection. All you do is whip it out and release. When I was in the Army and deployed, it was very common”
Some guys who give other guys bro jobs do it out of simple curiosity. Brady (not his real name) is a 32-yeard old married man in New York City. He’s also a personal trainer and at a popular fitness club.
“I’ve been doing some discrete stuff with another personal trainer on and off for the past year. We don’t make out and we don’t read anything into it,” he shares. “It just happens. We were both alone in the gym after closing and boom – we started messing around.”
After pausing for a moment he adds, “The other guy is bi. He wanted to blow me and I was down with it. But I also was curious about what it was like to do it. I always have been. With this other trainer, I was able to find out. You can call that gay if you want.”
4. Prefer Men on the DL
One thing that came as a bit of a surprise to us were the guys who preferred hooking up with other guys on the down low. Jason (alias), a 31-year old construction worker who identifies as totally straight explains.
“I’m married and have two kids. My wife doesn’t like to do oral and never has. It’s just easier to find other guys on Craigslist on the DL who are looking for something quick,” he tells GPB.
“You never have to worry about somebody big mouthing your business. And once you make a connection with another guy, it’s a done deal. You know when you get together what will happen. Most of the dozen or so guys I’ve hooked up with are married or bi.
Nine out of 10 times, I just let them do their thing on me. Once in a great while, I’ll return the favor. But that doesn’t mean I’m gay. It’s just a bro-code thing.”
When a straight guy gives another straight guy a bro job while under the influence, it’s sometimes referred to as heteroflexible. Most often, marijuana or alcohol are the substance of choice.
Mike (not real name), a 39-year old competitive body builder in Cleveland who is engaged to be married offers insight. “Sometimes, I will smoke a little grass with guys I train with. It helps to relax and clear the mind, particularly around competition time,” he shares.
“It hasn’t happened a lot but if I had to put a number on it, maybe 5 times?” he explains, recalling the number of times he’s either received or given a bro job.
He continues. “It’s never planned or anything. It just happens when you share 420 with another dude you’re lifting with. I just think it’s part of male bonding. I’m not ashamed of it or anything.”
Wrapping Things Up
Bro jobs have become so popular among guys who identify as straight and bi that an app has been created to facilitate connections. It’s called “Bro” and you can download it directly to your phone or pad.
Additionally, bro jobs appear to have taken off in a big way on sites like Craigslist. Do a quick search in any large metropolitan area for men seeking men and see just how many guys are looking to be serviced that identify as straight.
Daniel Sullivan, a licensed psychotherapist in Chicago who specializes in working with men shared the following with GPB.
“Guys make sexual contact with other guys all the time. Do you know how many male college athletes have told me about the ‘secret’ sexual relationship they have with other teammates?” he says out loud.
“Most of these men don’t feel guilty about it and don’t consider themselves gay. That’s because the bro code acts as a shield. In other words, straight guys who go down on other straight guys don’t talk about it.”
Finally, he adds: “The only time Ive noticed these men get weird about their behavior is when the word ‘gay’ is used. Guys who go gay for pay particularly hate it.”
By: Conrad Braxton