8 Reasons to Date a Kinky Guy That Have Nothing to Do with Sex!

kinky gay guys

Kinky guys have a lot more to offer than just fun sex!

By: Dustin M

Full disclosure: I’m kinky. So when you say on your Grindr profile you like it “mild to wild,” and then you playfully throw in this emoji at the end, you better mean it.

I wasn’t always a kinkster. In fact, I discovered the world of kink by accident.

A couple years ago, I started dating a dominatrix. She was a trans man, but preferred female pronouns and presented traditionally female. (I know, a little confusing, but stay with me here.)

She opened my eyes to what the world of BDSM could be. What a world with kink could be.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d end up the kinkster I am today. I thought vanilla sex was enough, you know? I mean sex is sex, and most of the damn time, if you’re attracted to the person, it feels pretty damn good.

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And if I’m being brutally honest here, if you have a nice bubble butt, I don’t really care how the rest of you looks. I just want to eat, spank, and blow until both of us are too exhausted to move.

But when the rush of adrenaline hit me the first time I engaged in kink, and the tears started streaming down my face because the clamps on my gauged nipples felt so intense, I knew I would never return to a life of vanilla sex. No matter how perfectly plump that behind of yours is.

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Lucky for us gay/bi men, we can easily explore kink. There are apps that make it so simple. And if Grindr has taught me anything (and good God, has it taught me a thing or two), there are a shocking number of kinky gay men out there.

More specifically, a lot of subs. (As someone who identifies as dom, this is absolutely amazing.

I have guys begging to worship my feet, and let me do number of things that are a little too NSFW to spell out, but please, let your imagination run wild.)

So now as a kinky guy, I primarily date other kinky guys. (Right, who would have thought?) It’s been pretty amazing.

Other than the earth-shattering, mind-blowing sex that you have with a kinkster, here are 8 other reasons why you should highly consider dating a guy who’s into kink.eight reasons gay men cheat

1. We’re open to new experiences

Let’s start with the obvious here. We’re down to explore new things. We’re collectors of experiences. Because of this, we’re not the type of guy who shuts down a “crazy idea” immediately.

We’re “yes” men. We are down. We want to grab the world by the horns and ride it until we all orgasm everywhere.

2. We don’t believe in societal norms

We don’t care that kink is considered taboo by most mainstream, heteronormative people. We don’t care that America was founded by a bunch of puritans who were super negative to all things having to do with sex.

We don’t believe in policing what we’re allowed to do, sexual and otherwise. We’re critical and independent thinkers. While we accept the societal norms that we think are appropriate, we have no problem dismissing the ones that we know are total BS.

3. We know how to trust and be vulnerable

Two large component of BDSM are trust and vulnerability. You are letting your partner see you in a completely different and vulnerable way. You get to see your partner cry or being grossly humiliated. Or conversely, you get to see your partner’s more sadistic side.

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You see when your dom partner gets those crazy eyes and loses himself in the power and sensation that comes from being a master. Seeing that different side of your partner, strengthens a relationship.

Letting your partner see YOU like that — it’s intense and requires trust. It facilitates a deep and personal connection.

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4. We’re probably down for a third

Okay, so not always. And I don’t want to stereotype all kinky gay men. Yes, of course, you can be kinky and monogamous. But from my personal experience, those guys are few and far between. (Maybe that’s because they’re not on Grindr or looking for other guys at a bar. I’m not sure.)

But the vast majority of gay kinky men I know are down for bringing in a third sexually, which honestly, is so much fun.

5. We’re adrenaline junkies

We don’t do boring. We’re not content with the humdrum monotony that comes from everyday life. We’re not satisfied with only going to work, working out, coming home, and watching Netflix five nights a week. We need stimulation.

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We need that rush. So we will find it. Since we are adrenaline junkies, we always find new and exciting things to do. Constantly.

That’s where you benefit. You get to have a partner who finds and pushes you to to do exhilarating out-of-the-box things.

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6. We’re introspective

You don’t stumble into kink without thinking about who you are as a person. What you want out of life. What you want out of a partner. And how you want to approach the world and the people around you.

Kink, more often that not, is a crucial part of a guy’s identity, and because of this, kinksters tend to be very introspective. We’ve analyzed ourselves, and (hopefully), are happy with who are.

7. We prioritize pleasure

And there ain’t nothing wrong with having a little fun, now is there? I think too many people in the world take life WAY too seriously.

Sometimes, we need to scale back our lifestyle and focus on ourselves and what feels good. Kinksters, of course, know how to do that, and don’t feel guilty for self-indulging, as so many people do.

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8. We have a high tolerance for pain and humiliation

Only a certain type of guy can handle a high level of both physical and mental pain and humiliation. A kinkster’s high tolerance for pain and humiliation extends outside of the bedroom.

It transfers to resilience and determination. And who doesn’t want to date a guy who is resilient and determined?

So if you have the opportunity to date a kinky guy, I highly recommend not passing it up. Who knows what he’ll have in store for you.