I’m a Black Gay Man With a Big D*ck But Don’t Assume I’m a Top!

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Not all black gay men are tops!

By: Kenneth in Detroit

I can’t figure out why so many gay men assume black guys with big d*cks are automatically tops? I’m saying this because just last week, yet another person from an app messaged me for a hook up with the following note.

“I’ve always wanted to get topped by a hung black guy bb.

Do you want to come over?”

Clearly, the person didn’t read my profile. If he had, he would have seen the following:
35 YO, 6’4, Masculine and Athletic, Six Pack, 10 cut.  BB TOTAL BOTTOM

But he didn’t stop there. Even though I never responded, he kept sending me messages were increasingly vulgar. It got to the point that I had to block him.

I’ve been putting up with this crap ever since I came out at 18. For some reason, people assume (particularly white gay men) that hung black guys are total tops. Well I’m here to say that just isn’t the case!

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Yes, I have an extremely large piece. In fact, most guys I’ve hooked up with have a hard time doing oral because of my girth. To be honest with you, I wish I wasn’t this big because it’s limited my ability to connect with men in more ways than you can imagine.

If you want to get an idea of my size, you can check it out here: NSFW link.

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Why do some gay men assume hung black guys are tops?

Here are just a few of the most recent comments I’ve gotten from guys on some of the hookup aps:

  • Can you let me ride it just once?
  • I’d like to see if I can handle that
  • How can you be that big and a bottom – what a waste!
  • I’ll do all the work. Just sit back and let me handle it.

Remember, my profile clearly states I’m a total bottom. That means I’m not versatile. Not even a little. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that with the right guy, I can be a major power bottom.

And this BS doesn’t just happen on the aps. It’s also occurs when I show up to a dude’s home. Let me give you an example from just last month.

I started talking to a guy on Grindr who was looking for a bottom. He identified himself as a “versatile top”. After we did the picture exchange thing and talked about what both of us wanted, I agreed to head over to his place.

When I got there, we started doing our thing. But I’ll be a mother f*cker if he didn’t try to sit on me! Seriously, as I was bent over his bed, waiting for him to insert, he turned me around and said something like, Me first!

Then, he pushed me back on the bed and started lubing me up with silicone. I was like, “Hey, I told you I’m a bottom only.” But he just kept stroking my business and acting like it was going to happen.

“Rape me like your prison bitch!” he even said.

I ended up jumping off his bed and began getting dressed. Confused, he asked why I was leaving. When I reminded him (again) that I don’t top, he got pissed off and said, “You can’t let me do it a little?”

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I was so frustrated that I just walked out. What was I going to do? Stand there are argue with him?

Look, it’s not like I haven’t tried to be versatile because I have. But for some reason, playing the top role makes me go soft. It doesn’t matter if I take Viagra or wear a ring, my junk deflates like a pricked balloon.

So I guess what you are hearing from me is a lot of frustration. Why do so many guys assume that black gay men with big d*cks are automatically tops?

Is it based on urban myth? Is it some kind of Nubian fantasy? Maybe ridiculous stereotypes?

All I know is this. Not every black guy that happens to be well endowed likes topping. I hope you think of this article the next time you meet a man of color on one of the apps. Don’t assume anything.

More important, if they say they are a bottom, don’t try to convert them into being a top!

Thanks for reading my rant.