The best part was riding Santa’s sleigh!
By: Adam in St. Paul
Don’t you love Christmastime? There’s the jingling of the bells, the obligatory gift buying and of course – eggnog spiked punch! I don’t know about you but ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always gotten into the yuletide spirit!
And speaking of the holidays, I thought it might be kind of fun to share a true Christmas story that happened to me nearly seven years ago. Now as you read this, bear in mind that I was only 23 and fairly new to gaydom.
At the time, I lived in Minneapolis and had a part time job at the Mall of America (MOM). If you’ve never been to MOM, particularly during Christmastime, you’ve got to check it out! That’s because America’s largest mall essentially transforms into the North Pole.
Back then, I was working for Hollister, the popular California retailer with a strong surfer vibe. The job was seasonal in nature, which allowed me to make a few extra bucks while still attending school at the University of Minnesota.
I would never have gotten the gig had it not been for Rex – the guy I was casually dating. You see he was friends with someone who worked there, which allowed me to get my foot in the door.
You may not know this but Hollister is owned by Abercrombie and Fitch. And because Rex was a door greeter at AF, he knew a lot of people. I don’t know if they do it anymore but back then, Abercrombie used to hire male models to entice customers into the store.
So as you can imagine, Rex was a handsome guy.
And since we’re speaking about him, it’s probably important that I tell you some background. Like me, he was attending UMN. We had met on campus at the Lavender Celebration; an event that honors the accomplishments of LGBT students, alumni and faculty.
I liked him a lot. He was around 6ft tall with deep blue eyes and a striking athletic build. I remember how we used to laugh when we’d flip a quarter on his abs and count how many times it swirled until finally tipping over.
Rex was also hairy chested – which was a real turn on since I’m pretty smooth.
But the thing that hooked me on him was his outgoing personality. He was so extroverted and would talk to anyone. I suppose that’s an important quality if you’re going to be a door greeter.
For my part, I was much more introverted. Oh sure, I liked being around people. But I didn’t thrive off of it like he did. And the weird thing is that his outgoingness also acted as a magnet. People just flocked to him, which no doubt was massively connected to his good looks.
Don’t get me wrong. I held my own in attractiveness. I’m just saying he had charisma; something a person has or they don’t.
In any event …
Our relationship was about what you would expect for early 20 somethings in college. It was high on physical attraction and low on commitment.
Early on, we both had agreed to keep things open. I think part of that arrangement stemmed from the fact that neither of us wanted to get tied down.
But we did have fun together. I remember our “study nights” over at his place at Bailey Hall. And because I was fortunate to share a two-bedroom apartment by the school, he was occasionally able to overnight.
So around mid-December, when customer traffic at Hollister really started to heat up, I got a text from Rex. He wanted to grab some coffee together at the mall’s Starbucks.
And so that’s what we did. But because there were no seats available because it was so busy, we decided to walk, talk and check out (aka: cruise) the sights.
At some point, we ended up over at “Santa Land”. That’s where parents bring their little kiddies to get photos snapped with the man in the red suite.
Didn’t you ever do that when you were a kid?
Anyway, while we were leaning over the railing and looking onto the lower level, the both of us caught sight of this super-hot elf. He was standing in line with the other elves, which apparently were Santa’s “little helpers”.
We laughed about it a bit and talked about how hot the guy was. While hard to describe exactly, I’d say he had a similar look as Chris Evans before he went all Captain America.
Maybe 6’1 with blue eyes, a hint of facial hair and an obvious gym rat. And when he smiled, it just made him look even sexier. No joke – the guy was near flawless.
Rex joked around and said, “We should try to get on that elf’s candy cane man.”
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Part of me was taken back – and a little jealous. I mean we had never discussed anything like that before, you know? But I’d be a liar if I didn’t tell you that part of me was majorly turned on.
After a few more minutes admiring him, we turned around and headed back to our jobs.
As the holiday season continued and our work at the mall went on, we started scheduling breaks together more and more. Hey, if you’ve ever worked retail during Christmastime, you know that those 20-minute rest periods are golden!
One night, while we were sipping coffee on a bench near the Lego Store, we saw that hot elf I mentioned earlier. Except this time, he wasn’t an elf at all. He was dressed as a full on Santa, minus the faux beard.
Rex, being the outgoing guy that he was, said to me, “I’m going to talk to him.” I remember feeling mixed about this and saying back to him, “No man – don’t. That dude’s probably straight.”
But Rex wasn’t having any of it. “There’s no way that guy isn’t gay. He’s too pretty not to be.”
Sure enough, when Santa walked by, Rex got up and said hello. As the two stood and talked, all I could do is sit on the bench, frozen like a popsicle.
He brought the guy over and introduced him.
“Hey, Adam. This is Kenny. He’s going in school too at Minnesota Community Technical.”
As they chatted for a bit, I couldn’t help but notice how hot he was. And rather he meant to or not, his candy cane was bulging from his red overalls.
Plus, for some strange reason, he literally smelled like peppermint. Don’t ask me why – he just did.
I remember he told us he was from the Duluth area and was in his second year of studies.
As an aside, I’ve always said there is something about guys from Northern Minnesota. I don’t know what they put in the water up there but the guys are just ridiculously hot.
Anyway, like us, Kenny had nabbed a job at the mall to make some extra money. And yes, the dude was gay. It took Rex and I all of thirty seconds to figure it out after he told us he liked drinking at The Brass Rail.
In case you don’t know, that’s a gay nightclub with male strippers.
“We should all hang out sometime,” suggested Kenny. “Wanna trade digits and set something up?”
I’ve never seen someone grab for his phone as fast as Rex did. Before I knew it, the three of us were programmed into each other’s devices.
Before parting ways, Rex asked Kenny a question “Hey, what’s with the Santa outfit? We thought you were one of Santa’s helpers?”
Apparently, Kenny sometimes stood in for Kris Cringle whenever he needed a break. That made sense. Santa has to take a leak too!
So a few days before Christmas, Rex and I both got a text from Kenny wanting to see about hanging out. After some back and forth messaging, we agreed to meet at Rex’s dorm around 11 pm and then go out for drinks.
“I’ve got some 420 if you guys are into that?” I remember Kenny including in the exchange.
Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of weed. It’s not that I’m against it or anything. More like it just doesn’t do much for me.
But Rex was a different story. He loved toking on grass. Oh well, I guess there were worse things to be into.
The night we were supposed to gather at Rex’s dorm, I found myself delayed. My shift was supposed to end at 9 but because of the holiday crowds – plus someone calling in sick – I ended up working until 10:30 pm.
By the time I left, got home and cleaned up, it was already 11:30. I texted the both of them and let them know what was going on.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll be waiting here for you. But hurry it up!” joked Rex. Almost immediately afterwards, another text came in from Kenny who added, “Yeah stud!” with a snowflake emoticon.
That was strange. I mean I could tell that Kenny was attracted to both Rex. But that was the first time he had ever been that obvious.
It was just about midnight by the time I finally got to the dorm. When I arrived, I could hear Christmas music in the background and the very faint smell of reefer.
I knocked on the door but no answer. I knocked on it again and still nothing. Finally, I just turned the knob and let myself in.
What else could I do, you know?
Well, to my surprise, they were both in the bed. Kenny was on his back and Rex was sitting on top of him. The two were kissing like crazy.
They hadn’t even noticed I’d walked in. That’s how high they were!
Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Only about 10% of me was upset. But 90% of me was way turned on. Just watching Rex bounce up and down on Kenny just did it for me.
And did I mentioned that Kenny had on a Santa hat? Yep, he sure did. He also was wearing black boots and nothing else. I don’t know how that happened. Maybe he was filling in for Mr. Cringle again?
I cleared my throat kind of loudly to let them know I was there.
While I was doing that, Rex continued riding Kenny and fired up a bong. Once he had it going, he pulled me up from Kenny and put the pipe-part in my mouth.
“Yeah Adam – take a deep hit. This shit is good. Kenny brought it over. It’s a special Christmas blend,” he joked.
I’d say it only took me about 5 minutes before it kicked in. Remember, I wasn’t one to smoke (still don’t) and so even a small toke was going to have an effect.
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Things are a bit blurry as I look back. At some point, the both of them undressed me. Kenny inspected my tattoos and told me how much he liked them. And before I knew it, Rex was in front of me while “Santa” inserted his rather thick candy cane from the rear.
Mind you, the guy was still wearing that hat and the boots. While I held on to a table for support, I can remember looking out the window.
“Oh look, it’s snowing outside!” I said as Kenny controlled everything from behind – kind of like how Santa might aggressively pull on the reigns to control Rudolph.
“Ho, Ho Ho – Ho, Ho, Ho!” I remember Kenny snickering, as he drilled me with tremendous force.
It didn’t take long for me to release. And Rex – the naughty little elf that he’d turned into – was only too happy to siphon out my eggnog from underneath.
All of that happened 7-years ago. Since then, Rex has moved to DC. We’re still friends, although he’s dating someone serious now and they might get married.
The last I heard, he was living in California. I’ve tried finding him on Facebook but haven’t had much luck. But then again, maybe it’s better that way.
Some Christmas memories are so wonderful that they are best left undisturbed.
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