I’m Only Heteroflexible When I Smoke Weed!

guy smoking weed


By: John Hollywood

Just when you thought you heard of everything, the latest phrase that has begun making the rounds is called heteroflexible. In fact, this particular term has caught on so much that in 2014, OK Cupid created an option to its sexuality identification area and named it – you guessed it – heteroflexible.

But what does heteroflexible really mean?

Apparently, there’s no universal agreement. Urban dictionary has defined this phenomenon as a person who is primarily straight but in certain situations can be attracted to someone of the same sex. We can’t help but think that this particular label sounds an awful lot like a person who is bi.

Here is the fun part of being a heteroflexible.

Typically, physical contact doesn’t happen that often for these folks but when it does, it usually occurs while someone is intoxicated (aka drunk sex). Most of the time however, it’s all about teasing and some occasional heavy petting.

Hey – it’s cool that people are starting to break away from labels – I guess. But what are we to do with the plethora of ones that already exist. There are so many out there that I can hardly keep up.

Here are most of the biggies, although I know I will catch crap because I’ve forgotten someone’s group:

  • Gay
  • Bisexual
  • Transgender
  • Gender Non-Conforming
  • Gender Fluid
  • Sexually Fluid
  • Asexual
  • Questioning
  • Queer (which a lot of gay men hate)
  • Heterosexual
  • Pansexual

So is heteroflexible just a skeevy way of getting your toe wet in the world of gaydom? Is it some offshoot of bisexuality? Is it just reserved for bro sex? You know – when a straight guy suddenly allows another guy to blow him after he’s taken a hit of weed?

Recently, a buddy of mine who identifies as straight suggested that very scenario. Here’s what he said:

“I’m totally into girls but when I smoke a little grass, something happens inside that makes me attracted to men.

So if I’m with another dude and he blows me, that doesn’t mean we’re bi or gay bro.”

He went on to describe himself as “heteroflexible” but only under heavy doses of THC. I was like – uh huh.

And just take a look at some of the stuff people have been sharing on Whisper about this entire thing. It’s just the oddest thing.

I'm heteroflexible- mostly straight but could go the other way for the right person or a fun night. After being committed to a guy for 2 years, I really miss being with a woman.
I am a guy. I have always wondered and thought about the way I feel and see things... just found out that I am heteroflexible.
It’s not for me to judge anyone for the label they choose to or choose not to use. But I personally feel like identifying yourself as heteroflexible is simply trying to have your cake and eat it too.

I’m sorry but you don’t get to be accidentally gay for a minute or temporarily bi. Smoking pot or drinking wine and then letting your buddy go down on you isn’t some free space on the bingo card

See Related: I’m a straight dude that fell in love with a gay man!

When you think about it, being heteroflexible does kind of promote the construct of bi-invisibility, which the folks at Pride do a great job of addressing.

“You don’t get to be accidentally gay for a minute or temporarily bi.”

Look, I am an openly gay man. I’m totally down with being called by this term (gay) and depending upon the dynamics, I’m even cool with being referred to as queer.

But I don’t know a lot of gay men who are rushing out to call themselves homoflexible. Why? Because we know what we are and own it.

Anyway – here is a poll for you to vote in on heteroflexibility. Enjoy!