Older gay men come with benefits
I’m just going to come right out and say it – older gay men make for better lovers. That statement may strike you as ridiculous but it’s true. You see I should know – I’ve been dating older gay men ever since I came out at 18.
To be clear, I define older as anyone that is greater than 15 years than me. And in case you are wondering, I just turned 35 last October.
My hope in penning this piece is to inspire younger gay men who are sick and tired of the dating scene and want to fast track themselves to something real.
Oh, I’ve been there – chasing after people my age and younger who say they are looking for love but really just want to get laid. Not that there’s anything wrong with sex.
But in my experience, guys who are under 30 just don’t know WTF they want. Yeah, yeah – they may say they want a hubby but when push comes to shove, they’re out looking to get off.
So for what it’s worth, here are 10 reasons why older gay men make better for lovers. When you read these, know that each item you see listed comes from personal experience.
Check this out:
1 Focused on relationship building
One of the main reasons older gay men make for better lovers is simply because most are focused on relationship building.
They’ve gone through their period in life where they want to sow screw everything that moves, meaning it’s not all about getting booty.
My partner is 60 years old and let me tell you, he’s one of the wisest people I know. That’s one of the best things about having an older lover. Their life experiences are treasures to pull upon. When I share a problem with him, there’s a good chance knows something about it because he’s lived that particular issue.
Try doing that with someone younger, like my age. Seriously, it’s a giant whine-fest. Hate to say that but it’s just been my experience.
3. Way better in bed
If you’ve never been topped by an older gay man, you don’t know what you’re missing. I’ve sat on guys my age and a whole lot younger and none of them can hold a candle to a hot daddy.
The reason is pretty simple – gay men that are older know WTF they are doing! That’s because they’ve had a lifetime to perfect their technique. Did you know that you have a hidden gay g-spot? You do! But you’ll never discover it with some young dude.
4. Excellent kissers
Yep, older gay men are excellent at kissing. Like the previously made point, they’ve acquired this skill through years of practice. What’s more, they know how to kiss a guy like a f*cking man!
Related: Gay men’s guide to kissing
Ever kiss a 25-year old? It’s like putting your lips on wet bread. They don’t know how to use their tongue or their lips. But an older gay guy knows all about making out.
Just thinking about my man’s white whiskers scratching up against my face is getting me worked up.!
5. Financially stable
While this point may not be true of all older gay men, it’s likely the case for the majority. Pretty much every older guy I’ve dated has their financial sh*t together. This means they own property, have liquid cash in savings and live on a budget.
That’s usually not the case with men who are around my age. Most of the guys I know are living with serious financial debt and swimming in credit card bills. I’m not even going to start about student loans.
The nice thing about dating that’s financially stable is knowing money isn’t going to be a problem. Not that you use them for cash. I’m simply saying they have the freedom to do different things if they want to.
6. More faithful
I’ve been in several relationships and am here to say that older guys are a lot more faithful than the twenty-something crowd. I don’t know why that is.
Maybe it’s because older gay men have played the cheating game before and know how much it can hurt?
In all of my previous dating experiences, it was the guy my age-ish who stepped out and got his walls rocked by some random trick.
Not so with my older boyfriends.
7. No need for constant attention
I like dating older, more mature gay men because they don’t need constant, non-stop attention. Don’t get me wrong, they like to be noticed but they don’t thrive on it.
I can’t say as much for most of the gay guys that are my age. It just seems like many need to be affirmed daily about how “hot” they are. That may sound shallow but it’s true.
8. Competition isn’t an issue
There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with a guy where it feels like you’re regularly competing with one another. Ever experience something like that? It totally sucks!
When you’re with the daddy-type, competition isn’t an issue. In fact, the older guys I’ve dated don’t want to go there. Instead, they’re just fine hanging out in the background.
9. Drama Queen Free
It would be unfair to say that all younger men are drama queens on the dating front. But to be brutally honest, many of them are. The drama runs the gambit; from an inability to make simple decisions to stressing out about what cloths to wear.
That’s just not the case with older gay men. My experience is they know what they like and don’t like. More important, most don’t give a crap what others think of them. It’s called confidence, which leads me to my final point.
10. More Confident
The most attractive thing, at least to me, about older gay men is the confidence they exude. Why this is part of their persona likely relates to the other 9-reasons (give or take) that I’ve listed above.
I know I’m painting with a wide brush but I can only speak to what I know. Sure, there are twenty and thirty somethings like this but I’ve found that to be very rare.
Older Wrap Up
If you’re sick and tired of the dating scene because it just seems like there’s too many players, I encourage you to cozy on up with an older gay man.
Chances are, he’ll likely treat you right in and out of the bedroom. And he’s more likely to be sensitive while he’s at it!
By: Mark World in San Diego
Photo Credits: Pictures 1 & 4, Robert Siegelman Photography