10 Reasons Older Gay Men Are Better Lovers

older gay man younger gay man

Older gay men come with benefits

I’m just going to come right out and say it – older gay men make for better lovers. That statement may strike you as ridiculous but it’s true. You see I should know – I’ve been dating older gay men ever since I came out at 18.

To be clear, I define older as anyone that is greater than 15 years than me. And in case you are wondering, I just turned 35 last October.




My hope in penning this piece is to inspire younger gay men who are sick and tired of the dating scene and want to fast track themselves to something real.

Oh, I’ve been there – chasing after people my age and younger who say they are looking for love but really just want to get laid. Not that there’s anything wrong with sex.

But in my experience, guys who are under 30 just don’t know WTF they want. Yeah, yeah – they may say they want a hubby but when push comes to shove, they’re out looking to get off.

Related: “Better to be single gay man than cheated on”

So for what it’s worth, here are 10 reasons why older gay men make better for lovers. When you read these, know that each item you see listed comes from personal experience.

Check this out:

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1 Focused on relationship building

One of the main reasons older gay men make for better lovers is simply because most are focused on relationship building.

They’ve gone through their period in life where they want to sow screw everything that moves, meaning it’s not all about getting booty.

2. Wisdom

My partner is 60 years old and let me tell you, he’s one of the wisest people I know. That’s one of the best things about having an older lover. Their life experiences are treasures to pull upon. When I share a problem with him, there’s a good chance knows something about it because he’s lived that particular issue.

Try doing that with someone younger, like my age. Seriously, it’s a giant whine-fest. Hate to say that but it’s just been my experience.

3. Way better in bed

If you’ve never been topped by an older gay man, you don’t know what you’re missing. I’ve sat on guys my age and a whole lot younger and none of them can hold a candle to a hot daddy.

Related: Why you should bottom for older gay guys

The reason is pretty simple – gay men that are older know WTF they are doing! That’s because they’ve had a lifetime to perfect their technique. Did you know that you have a hidden gay g-spot? You do! But you’ll never discover it with some young dude.

4. Excellent kissers

Yep, older gay men are excellent at kissing. Like the previously made point, they’ve acquired this skill through years of practice. What’s more, they know how to kiss a guy like a f*cking man!

Related: Gay men’s guide to kissing

Ever kiss a 25-year old? It’s like putting your lips on wet bread. They don’t know how to use their tongue or their lips. But an older gay guy knows all about making out.

Just thinking about my man’s white whiskers scratching up against my face is getting me worked up.!

5. Financially stable

While this point may not be true of all older gay men, it’s likely the case for the majority. Pretty much every older guy I’ve dated has their financial sh*t together. This means they own property, have liquid cash in savings and live on a budget.

That’s usually not the case with men who are around my age. Most of the guys I know are living with serious financial debt and swimming in credit card bills. I’m not even going to start about student loans.

The nice thing about dating that’s financially stable is knowing money isn’t going to be a problem. Not that you use them for cash. I’m simply saying they have the freedom to do different things if they want to.

6. More faithful

I’ve been in several relationships and am here to say that older guys are a lot more faithful than the twenty-something crowd. I don’t know why that is.

Maybe it’s because older gay men have played the cheating game before and know how much it can hurt?

In all of my previous dating experiences, it was the guy my age-ish who stepped out and got his walls rocked by some random trick.

Not so with my older boyfriends.

attractive gay man

7. No need for constant attention

I like dating older, more mature gay men because they don’t need constant, non-stop attention. Don’t get me wrong, they like to be noticed but they don’t thrive on it.

I can’t say as much for most of the gay guys that are my age. It just seems like many need to be affirmed daily about how “hot” they are. That may sound shallow but it’s true.

8. Competition isn’t an issue

There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with a guy where it feels like you’re regularly competing with one another. Ever experience something like that? It totally sucks!

Related: 8 reasons to date a daddy at least once

When you’re with the daddy-type, competition isn’t an issue. In fact, the older guys I’ve dated don’t want to go there. Instead, they’re just fine hanging out in the background.

Credit: Robert Siegelman Photography

9. Drama Queen Free

It would be unfair to say that all younger men are drama queens on the dating front. But to be brutally honest, many of them are. The drama runs the gambit; from an inability to make simple decisions to stressing out about what cloths to wear.

That’s just not the case with older gay men. My experience is they know what they like and don’t like. More important, most don’t give a crap what others think of them. It’s called confidence, which leads me to my final point.

10. More Confident

The most attractive thing, at least to me, about older gay men is the confidence they exude. Why this is part of their persona likely relates to the other 9-reasons (give or take) that I’ve listed above.

I know I’m painting with a wide brush but I can only speak to what I know. Sure, there are twenty and thirty somethings like this but I’ve found that to be very rare.

Older Wrap Up

If you’re sick and tired of the dating scene because it just seems like there’s too many players, I encourage you to cozy on up with an older gay man.

Chances are, he’ll likely treat you right in and out of the bedroom. And he’s more likely to be sensitive while he’s at it!

By: Mark World in San Diego

Photo Credits: Pictures 1 & 4, Robert Siegelman Photography

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  • I call total bullshit. Though the list is acceptable and kind of gratuity to older men. This list is totally imaginary.

  • Manawydan

    This is just ageist against younger guys. I’ve dated guys in their 40s, 50s and 60s who were selfish, cheating liars, whilst dating some really kind and experienced 20s and 30s.

    Great that the author has found a nice guy but don’t tar and feather all younger guys just because of their age.

  • Joshua Gavel

    I’ve preferred older guys, since my teens. Now 60, I feel a bit lost, not knowing who to turn to for the ‘older man’ experience. I’m not the Daddy type…more of a furry cub, eager to please a ‘Daddy’ of my own… I am on Facebook.

  • Arvey Jones

    I love older men. But a big BUT I am now almost 70 where the heck can I find any older than me.