His smegma coated peen smells like rotten oysters!
By: Evan in Maryland
I know you must think I’m the worst gay in the world. After all, healthy, lasting relationships aren’t built on sex alone. But how can you create something for the long term if you can’t breathe?
I’m a 34-year old white gay man living in Baltimore. Ever since I came out, I’ve dated different types of guys. I’m talking about everything from black men, to Native Indians to Asians.
I admit that in my early 20’s, I went through a brief period where I was only open to French men – but that’s only because I was obsessed with the language.
In any event, I recently started seeing a Latin man. His name is Jorge* and he’s from Ecuador. While he’s certainly not the only South American guy I’ve ever had sex with, he is the first one I’ve ever seriously dated.
We have so much in common! Here are some examples. We’re both the same age, enjoy the same types of movies and really get into dancing. Jorge even hopes to have children one day – something I very much would like too.
Crazy as this might seem, I met him three months ago at a gym on a visitor’s pass. Long story short, mine was closed for ceiling repairs, so I bought a 7-day membership at a nearby facility so I wouldn’t miss my workouts.
Our encounter wasn’t all that unusual. In fact, it was pretty bland. We simply caught one another’s eye in the locker room and through the magic of gaydar, began chatting it up.
One thing led to another and by the end of our conversation, we exchanged numbers. Not bad, huh?
And while I’ve never told Jorge this, I was kind of hooked on him from the get go. It didn’t help that as he changed clothes in front of me, I caught a glimpse of his hairy chest.
Yep, that’s right. He’s one of those tall, dark and handsome types that has perfect man-fur – with a treasure trail to boot! I’ve always been a sucker for hair and muscle. Maybe that’s true for you too?
The beginning our courtship was fairly standard. On our first date, I learned that he’s a Spanish teacher. I also found out that last Christmas, he broke up with a guy he’d been dating for two years.
On our second date, I shared some boring stuff about me; like working in the tech sector and previous relationship history.
And on our third date? Well, that’s when we had sex.
It’s always weird when you get to this stage of dating because that’s when you find out about the real deal with compatibility. You know what I’m talking about. Is he a bottom or a top? Can he be versatile? Does he have any fetishes that might freak my out?
In Jorge’s case, I quickly learned that he’s fairly vanilla. And to me, that’s a real plus! You see, I’m not all that wild myself. Giving and receiving oral and riding guys is pretty much my thing.
Oh sure, I can top too. Just saying I prefer the bottom bunk if given a choice.
All of this brings us to the pungent the problem. There’s no easy way to say it so I’m just going to blurt it out.
Jorge has a super-sized uncut banana that look amazing but smells like rotten oysters! Seriously, just thinking about the stink of it right now makes me want to toss.
I got a whiff of it the first time we messed around. As we were making out in his bed, he started pushing my head towards his beanstalk. No big deal, right? Truthfully, I wanted to see what was going on done there.
But the closer I got to it, the more I picked up on the stank. By the time I got my lips near his beast, I was seriously struggling to breathe. Worse, you could see the Smegma in the folds of his foreskin – yuk!
In the final analysis, I couldn’t do it. There was just something about the smell and sight of the stuff that turned me off, both physically and mentally.
OMG I froze when he asked me:
“What’s wrong papi, don’t you want to suck? You don’t like doing that?”
Talk about being put on the spot. How exactly do you tell the guy you are trying to service that his junk smells like expired, curdled milk?
And not because I needed a quick fadeout to handle his size. Instead, that liquid gold helped to mask the stank!
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Trying to figure out how to deal with this issue, I talked to a couple of friends. The consensus was to not confront him directly but instead, subtly draw attention to the problem.
So that’s what I did. Rather than just tell him his d*ick stank, I offered to shower with him before our next play event. And trust me, I had thought everything out. You see I bought a bar of deodorant soap on the drive over to his house.
As we stood under high pressured water and lathered each other up, I paid special attention to his snake. While he never came out and said it, my spidey senses told me he knew what was up. But like a real trooper, Jorge said nothing.
That’s why I was SO disappointed when we hopped in the sack and the stink was still present. Sure, it has subsided a little but it was still pretty strong.
But I was determined to not let this get in the way of an otherwise decent going romance. I took some lube that is designed to look like spunk, stroked it on him and then held my breath.
Honestly, I’d say I lasted all of 30-seconds before I had to stop. Maybe you’re a better man than me but I just can’t hold my breath that long.
That session ended up with me behind him, topping him out until we both released.
Jorge and I get a long great. Seriously, we do and I kind of think I’m in love with him. But his smelly Smegma has really become a drag.
At some point, when the elephant in the room could no longer be avoided, he brought it up. I could tell he was very sensitive to this issue. Apparently, he’s had this problem come up in the past with his ex.
I didn’t want to pry … you know? It was already embarrassing enough for him. Suffice it to say that he was going to try and do a better job cleaning.
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A buddy of mine suggested that I pick up some gag spray as a work around.
But should I really have to coat my throat and take a whiff of room deodorizer every time I go syphoning for oil?
Anyway, we’re still dating. But I’m not sure how much longer we will last. The malodorous issue is already starting to take a toll on our love life.
Can I level with you? I like oral. In fact, I like it a lot. So much so that just writing about it now works me up. There’s just something about swallowing a guy up that gets me going.
But the thought of doing that to Jorge – at least now – doesn’t seem all that appealing. I’m not sure if I should tell him to go to his doctor or what? Perhaps he should get circumcised? WTF should I do?
It really sucks (no pun intended) to meet someone you click with and have a problem like this happen. What’s really bad is that it’s begun to drive me away.
How do you get past it?
*Name changed per writer’s request
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