10 Things We’re Happily Gagging On This Thanksgiving!

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What are you thankful for?

Hello, everyone – Gobble, Gobble! Thanksgiving is finally here; the annual celebration of gluttony and colonization and 3pm dinners.

What are your plans? Why not leave your favorite recipes in the comments section, where folks will might read them.

Yep, it’s that time of the year when inevitably, one a-hole won’t let anyone eat until the entire table goes around in a circle and says what they’re thankful for, while else goes “Oh, yes!”

It’s the worst, isn’t it?

Given the dynamics, we don’t want you to feel unprepared this season! That’s why we’ve compiled a list of ten things you can be thankful for, just in case your religious aunt asks.

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Franco Noriega

1. Bulges

Honestly, what would the world be without something yummy to fixate on? Not only are they great to look at, they make for wonderful tools of comparison! Don’t you have a favorite you like to look at?

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2. Butts

If you are thankful for bulges, you have to also give thanks for butts. The best kind are bubble butts with round melons that are great for slapping (and other things!)

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3. Hairy Chests

Yes, we admit it. We are partial to men with hairy chests. That doesn’t mean we don’t like smooth – we do! But when you have a man with a hairy chest, you can get lost in a forest of tasty yum!

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4. Guys in Sweats

Do you like seeing guys in sweats? We sure do! Particularly when they are showing assets in all the right places. Plus, sweats make for easy access. And shouldn’t the holidays be all about easy?

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5. Chris Evans

Let’s be real. Chris Evans is Hot AF and there’s probably not one of us who wouldn’t like to have him Captain America our holes out. Just writing this out now makes our turkeys stand at attention. Woof! Oh hey, he’s a LOT bigger than you might think!!!

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6. Bromances

Now that guys who identify as “mostly straight” are flying out of the closet to acknowledge they occasionally like to go down on other dudes, we figured … why not celebrate. Didn’t you hear? It’s all part of the things straight guys don’t want you to know!

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7. Pup Play

Yep, it’s being listed! Pup play is all about fantasy fun and getting your animal on. Plus, there is research to suggest that pup play is a form of relaxation for many gay men.


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8. Rugged Bottoms

There’s nothing like a rugged bottom! Here, we’re talking about the outdoorsy type that likes to chomp down on a nice piece of bark while he’s bending over a stump. Hell yeah, baby!

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9. Gay Bears

We love bears. Particularly the yummy type that like to cuddle and spoon. The problem is many of them don’t get the attention they deserve. Make sure you love on a bear this holiday season!


10. Men who flex and squirt

All of us should be thankful when a man flexes his biceps and squirts out a massive load of milk. Believe it or not, there’s some science behind why they do it. And for that, we are mighty thankful!