Single, Gay and Happy
When you ask single gay men what they will be doing on Valentine’s Day, the responses are usually all over the map. Many will tell you that February 14th is just another day to them. Others might share plans to hang out with friends and chillax.
And finally, there are the group of gays who find the whole thing revolting.
Let’s face it – being single and gay on Valentine’s Day can suck big time. And so regardless if you are desperately seeking Mr. Right or blissfully unattached, the non-stop commercialism and depictions of romance are a bothersome reminder that February 14 is for lovers – and oh by the way you don’t have one.
But what if we told you that being a single gay man can be a gift? Assuming you believe this, what if you learned how to take that gift and synthesize it into happiness? Well guess mister … that’s about to happen right now!
What follows are 7 secrets of happily single gay men. These life lessons have been provided by guys who have been unattached for long periods of time.
We’ve broken them down into easy to digest chunks so that you can think about each one separately. Read them all in order to absorb their deeper meaning.
Let’s jump right in!
1. They focus on themselves
One reason some gay men who are single become unhappy on February 14 is because they buy into the myth that they “must” be partnered to fit in. What they fail to recognize is that just because someone has a partner does not mean they are happy.
When you are single, you have the golden opportunity to work on yourself. What’s more, whatever improvements you make are done with you in mind and not for somebody else. While you can certainly do this while you have a boyfriend, it isn’t quite the same.
Think of this period of time as a gift that you’ll look back on and treasure. Even though it may feel like it now, this moment won’t last forever.
2. They don’t “need” someone to feel validated
Happy single gay men have learned that true, lasting validation doesn’t come from others. Instead, they have figured out that the best way to achieve a healthy self-esteem comes from within.
They’ve also learned the lesson that when you chase guys based upon their looks, it’s almost always a recipe for disaster.
The best part about this point is this – happy single gay men are more attractive because they actually like who they are. In return, they put out an energy that is almost magnetic. And while opportunities away.
3. They like being alone
Some guys feel almost compelled to “be” with other as a pathway to happiness. And while there’s nothing wrong with this, it can become a problem if you need the constant attention of others.
When you are regularly thinking about the next big gay event, there’s a good chance you aren’t focusing on other life areas – such as self-care, personal finance and so forth.
Happy single gay men long ago recognized there is peace being alone – and wisdom in the silence. And how did they come to like being alone? The answer is simple – they like themselves.
4. Relationships matter to them
Single gay men that are happy don’t “hate” relationships. In fact, it’s just the opposite. The difference is that these men take the construct of being partnered with another person seriously.
This means they don’t jump from one relationship to another or rush into something just to be with someone.
And because relationships matter to these gay men, they’ve learned early in their dating life that formulating bonds that last takes time and that real love is so much more than “just hot sex”. Compatibility means a lot to these guys.
5. They like being single
Another major secret of gay guys who are unattached is that they actually like being single. That may sound hard to believe but it is true.
They don’t need someone to help them clean their home, make their bed or cook them dinner. They’re perfectly happy doing this all on their own.
Certainly, there are moments when they become lonely but they never feel alone. That’s because they’ve developed a healthy network for friends to spend time with.
6. They’re self-disciplined
Gay men who are single and happy usually exhibit a high degree of self-discipline. This means they take care of themselves because they care about their mental and physical health.
These same guys also spend time focusing on their appearance – in a healthy way.
Examples include getting enough sleep, exercising, limiting intake of alcohol and other substances. Perhaps this is why so many of these guys look so great and why they’re so attractive?
7. They get their companionship through other means
Companionship comes in many different forms. Friends, family and even pets certainly come to mind. The point here is that happy single guys have conditioned themselves to disavow the belief that they “need a man” in order to be complete.
This isn’t to say these men don’t want to be with someone in a romantic sense – many do. But rather than feeling compelled to find “the one”, they’ve learned that happiness comes in many different forms and not necessarily from a lover.
Happy single gay men are somewhat of a rare breed. Most of these guys are confident about their abilities and at peace with who they are as a person.
One book to consider if you are struggling right now is the book, Living Alone and Loving It by Barbara Feldon. What’s great about this read is that it teaches you that being single is not a curse.
There’s also a bunch of useful information in it as well, including how to improve the connection with yourself, which ultimately helps make you more relationship ready when the time comes.
By: Rico Woods