If you refuse to give oral, don’t get pissed when he dumps you.
Last year, I met a wonderful guy named Kevin. He was everything I ever wanted in a man – tall, masculine and employed! On almost every level we clicked. Moreover, we shared lots in common.
But our one area of disagreement killed our relationship. Simply put, Kevin refused giving oral sex of any kind. When I say any kind, I mean not even putting his mouth near my scrotum.
The funny thing is, he was more than willing to let me blow him. In fact, it was probably one of his favs regarding sexual play. That’s kind of selfish, don’t you think?
The man had no problem letting me swallow him either; sometimes not even telling me he was about to release.
His reasons for not wanting to suck were always the same: “It’s just not my thing – I’ve never liked it.” When pressed for more insight, he’d get super quiet and vibe out a “Don’t go there” message.
Honestly, it pissed me off. A lot.
The truth is, I really like getting drained. Moreover, I’m super down with doing it to the guys I’m dating (or any hot guy to be real).
But it didn’t matter to Kevin. He’d let me top him, breed him out and even do water sports. But going down on me wasn’t going to happen. Ever.
Eventually, we broke up. I just couldn’t handle the one-sided nature of things. After having time to reflect upon all that went down (or what didn’t), I decided to pen this piece.
If you are a man who refuses to give your boyfriend a BJ, here’s 7 reasons why it could be a deal breaker that might surprise you.
1. It’s relaxing
When you are down on your knees and servicing another guy, it’s therapeutic. For real – it is. All of the nerve ending at the head of the penis respond well or oral stimulation. Don’t you want to help your man chillax?
2. It’s a sign of trust
When you give a guy head, it’s one of the ultimate forms of trust. Think about it for a second. Are you any more vulnerable than the moment your Johnson is in a mouth full of teeth? When you blow a man, he’s making himself vulnerable. Why wouldn’t you want to take advantage of that?
3. It’s admiration
While not true for all, most guys like their penises. Some more than others, depending upon size and girth. Regardless of largeness, going down on a man demonstrates you admire what he has. In my experience, men liked having that part of their body worshiped – a lot. When you refuse to do it, it feels like rejection.
4. It’s masculine
There’s nothing more masculine than having a guy look up at you while draining. Making eye intensifies the experience even more. When you give your man oral, you help him to activate sexual hormones that hearken back to our primal beginnings, thereby bringing out his inner animal. See link on flexing.
5. It’s selfishly disrespectful
If you are letting your man go down on you but refuse to reciprocate, it’s disrespectful. Some may disagree with this. That’s fine. But as a person who knows what it’s like to blow and not get blown, I’m just being keeping it real.
6. Strengthens connection
Guys who service their men through oral are helping to strengthen the connection. Much of this goes back to the trust point made earlier. Conversely, when you refuse to milk him, you weaken that connection – emotionally and physically.
7. It’s simple
Sometimes, a guy just needs to get serviced. He doesn’t want to make small talk or deal with foreplay. Instead, he just wants to whip it out and get siphoned. This means not topping you or bottoming. Honestly, who has time in this busy life for all the prep involved with anal? With BJ’s, it’s as simple as pull, suck and release.
I’m not saying you have to give your man head upon his beckon command. You absolutely don’t. But if you refuse to ever suck on him, don’t be surprised if he dumps you like a rock.
Here’s the deal – most men like getting sucked off. If you want your relationship to last, you’ve got to give a little to receive.