It’s not like what they show in adult film. At least it wasn’t for me.
By: Nathan in NC
When I was 21-years old, I joined the United States Marine Corps. Initially, I enlisted for four years and served another four years IRR (individual ready reserve).
Today, I’ve long since separated from the corps. I’m also married to a guy, finally getting hitched late last year. My husband also served in the military, although he was in a different branch of service.
What inspired me to write this article was a recent chat I had with my husband about what it’s like being closeted in the military and hooking up with curious guys.
What sparked our conversation was watching Shooter starring Ryan Phillippe. The show has somewhat of a military vibe and I guess it just brought back some memories.
Cliff (my man) asked me if I had ever hooked up with other Marines during my time enlisted. After some back and forth on the topic, I told him the answer was yes.
If you are partnered long enough, you know that this kind of question begets a whole other set of inquiries, like “Who was it” and “Was he hot?”.
I suspect Cliff wanted to know the answer to these questions from a place of curiosity. But I also knew that on some level, the thought of it all turned him on.
“It’s not what you think. It ain’t like what you see in gay p***,” I explained to him. Still, he wanted to know and so I shared with him.
And now – I’m going to do the same with you.
First, I knew when I was 21 that I was gay. Yes, I struggled with it and went through a long period of denial. But deep inside, I knew full well that I was attracted to guys.
Second, I was closeted. In fact, I was super closeted because unlike other branches of service, the Corp is (was) super masculine. When I served, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was still a few years off so there weren’t even minimum protections in place.
That said, I did hook up with several guys during my time enlisted. To be completely honest, several of them were gay, just like me. But not all of them were. Instead, I suspect most were likely curious, probably leaning more towards the straight side of the spectrum.
I won’t spend a lot of time focusing on the gay Marines except to say that I found most were extremely guarded about their sexuality. I was too, given the times.
But the guys who were curious (outwardly straight, girlfriends, etc) were a lot less guarded. In fact, I found them to be much more adventurous than the gay ones.
Before continuing, I need to say that not once during my time enlisted did I engage in any type of anal sex. I know that in adult films these kinds of scenarios get shown a lot but at least for me, it never happened.
What DID happen (almost exclusively) was mutual oral. And the way it happened was a lot less random than some might think. That’s because hooking up with a curious guy in the Marines meanings having a relationship (friendship) in place for a good while before anything can happen.
In movies, it’s all about the fantasy of using force, etc. Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone but that just wasn’t my experience.
Example. The guy I used to regularly swap head with was someone I went through basic training with. He name was Brett. He was a bit older (25) and already married with a kid.
I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t attractive because he certainly was. But Brett also wasn’t over the top handsome or model material. Just your run of the mill, well-built Marine of Polish and German decent.
Both of us had similar interests and backgrounds. The difference was I was gay and lying about it. For his part, he didn’t need to fib because he had a real wife and kid.
In any event, while both of us were deployed during Operation Desert Shield, we found ourselves regularly hooking up. It always happened in the same place.
Let me explain.
We were assigned guard duty for munitions. Our job was to sit in the back of an enclosed MTVR with weapons ready during transport. In fact, we got stuck with this miserable job for several weeks in the buildup to the Gulf War. It was always just the two of us back there and then two guys in the front (one driver and one passenger).
Some of those “missions” were two hours long with absolutely nothing to do. Smalltalk is all you have to keep your anxiety in check and pass time.
During these trips, we often talked about girls and all that. On one transport, he shared with me that his wife “sucked” at sucking d*ck and mentioned something about her not really being good at it.
My gaydar has always been terrible so it never even occurred to me that he was opening the door for something to happen at this point.
Looking back, it likely was because I was so caught up in staying closeted that I didn’t “see” where things were going. If you’ve ever served (particularly before DADT) you know what I’m talking about.
“Have you ever wondered what it’s like for them?” I remember him asking on a scorching hot morning as we moved along bumpy roads in Iraq.
It took a moment for what he said to register. I think I might have responded with something like, “Yeah, I guess” or some shit like that.
“Let’s try it man. It doesn’t mean we’re gay. But at least we can teach our women how to do this,” he said. “I’ll go first, alright?”
And that’s how it started. He came over to my side of the truck and sat next to me. I unzipped my woodland camos and then got on my knees on the truck bed. He then pulled down my green boxers (skivvies) and started doing his thing.
I can still remember balancing myself with one hand on support bar because the road was so bumpy.
He didn’t “finish me off”. I’d say that first time was just a few minutes. When he was done, Brett followed my lead and assumed the same position. In turn, I pulled down his green boxers and worked on him.
Neither of us released that first go around. That’s probably because we were just testing the waters (more so him than me).
But on future trips, we did drain each other out. I have no other way of explaining it except to say that it just would happen.
We had to swallow each other too because there was no place to “let go” and not leave a mess. In fact, he was the first dude I ever swallowed. To wash down, we drank from water bottles from our backpacks.
There was never any kissing. Not that I didn’t want too. But I think had we done it, the lip action would have made it “gay”. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? I’m just telling you like it is. Maybe that’s the norm for brojob situations, who knows.
Our “truck action” went on for a few weeks, only stopping after we got new assignments. We were still in the same squad, we just didn’t get the chance to be alone like that again.
Brett and I never talked about what we did. And there wasn’t any awkwardness when we would see one another. Not even a little. And I gotta tell you that was different than the gay Marines I had been with. Not that they threw attitude. They didn’t.
“Have you ever wondered what it’s like”
It was more like they didn’t want to vibe out any kind of special relationship. I hope that makes sense.
I could go on forever and a day about this topic but my point in writing this was to share a real-life situation about hooking up with curious guys in the Marines when you are gay.
There were other guys I did things with. Maybe 3 or 4? But not with the frequency like it was with my truck companion.
In case you are wondering, after I got out I never really talked to Brett again. He’s in a Facebook group I belong too but there are lots of us in there and it’s just not something that comes up. I’m also not going to message him and say, “Hey, do you remember when…”.
Plus, what I have seen of him online, he’s looks to have fully integrated back into civilian, family life. The guy even has grandkids and all that too boot.
I already know what you are thinking. “He was gay – he had to be!” That’s up to you to decide but honestly, I think sexuality is a lot more complicated that black and white.
So there you have it. Probably not as hot as you might have wanted but at least now you’ve got a realistic snapshot of how these things can go down (well how they used to) back in the day.
Thanks for reading!
PS: My husband wants to see what Brett looks like. There’s just no way I’m ever going to show him that. Brett ain’t what he used to be (and neither am I).