10 Tips For Gay Men To Get Out of The Friend Zone Fast!

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Friend Zone Hacks

No matter how good-looking you are, how many guys you have slept with, or how much people who see you notice you for your looks, being in the friend-zone has happened to almost every single person in the world.

Even if you are among the 50 people on Earth that have never been put in the friend-zone, you most likely know how it goes. Boy #1 loves Boy #2 but Boy #2 sees him as a friend. Period. So simple, so bad, so hard.

However, this can change and, yes, I am proud to say that I have escaped a situation like this in the past. Twice. So, keep reading to find out how you can make it too.

What Put You in the Friend-Zone?

BUT, before we move on to the tips that can change the way your “friend” sees you, you need to know what made him put you there in the first place. Chances are that the reasons can be found in the following circumstances:

  • You were always there for him.
  • The only answer he would ever hear from you was “yes.”
  • You were too available.
  • Most likely, you were also too good.
  • Everything was too easy for him.

In other words, you were the perfect boyfriend your friend could ever wish for, and yet, he didn’t have to commit romantically to anyone. This is the pattern your relationship had been following for a while, and now is taken for granted.

So, today, we are going to find ten ways to break that pattern and start building a new one from scratch. *insert evil laugh here* 

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1. Take Some Steps Back

Read again: TAKE SOME STEPS BACK. Don’t vanish, don’t be a total jerk, but just keep some distance. This is the very first step towards breaking the pattern that you created for you two and worked conveniently only for the other party.

Don’t text all the time and don’t initiate contact. In fact, if you draw back, you will make him miss you more and more. Remember: This person does like or love you but not in the way that you do. So, since you are already important to him, give him a hint of how life would be without you. Trust me. He is not going to like it.

Related: 7 Steps To Maintain a Great FWB Relationship

Do you want to take it to the next level? You can even disappear for some days. Answer no phones, write nothing back and just rise from the dead when you just feel like it. Get your power back by setting the rules of your interaction.

2. Be Less Available

I am sure that every single time your “friend” has asked you to go out for a drink or coffee, you just said yes. I totally understand this. You wanted to see him, create some memories together, or even try to make him see how much of a great time you spend with each other.

Next time he calls, just say no. I know it sounds simpler than it actually is but, please, say no. When he asks for a favor, again, say no. Learning how to say no is a great way to make people chase you. When you eventually say yes (you cannot be a chat-buddy all the time, after all), ask for an exchange.

Something like “Yes, I can help you with this project but only if you (insert a ‘price’ here)” will do the work. Believe it or not, people create bonds with people who ask for their help.

3. Be a Better Version of Yourself

There is a chance that your friend might not really like you because you are not hot enough. By “hot” I don’t actually mean that your looks are not attractive but that you are not the person that he sees himself with either in bed or life. Get in shape, read books, watch movies. Be a more interesting version of who you actually are right now.

Related: 7 Reasons Bromo Relationships Are Surging!

This way you attract both him and maybe some other, interesting guys as well.

4. Do Things With Other People Too

Most likely, and if you are truly in love with your “friend”, your whole world revolves around him. I get it. I’m not a robot. I have fallen in love too.

But, seriously, stop it now.

Fortunately, you have other friends too, people you can spend some quality time with and just stop thinking about someone who wants you at their own time. You are stronger than this, man! Plus, this way you are going to show him that he is not your number one priority and that your life is great even without him in it every minute.

A great tip that leads us to another great step:

friend zone tips for gay men
Friends or more?

5. Be More Mysterious

Mystery and the unknown has always been attractive. One of the reasons he has put you into his friend-zone is because you’ve been like an open book to him and there was nothing about you left to discover.

Time to turn the tables. Add some mystery in your own existence. He doesn’t need to know where you are all the time, what your day was like, what you are up to, your hopes, dreams, plans, everything! Be a person he will want to discover.

Related: Woman Freaks Out After Seeing “Straight” Boyfriend On Grindr

Talk about people he doesn’t know, about activities that you have engaged yourself with that he had no idea about, meetings, plans… Things you haven’t even talked about. He will most likely ask about them and you will have to respond mysteriously as well.

Note: Don’t be pretentious. Share information that you would share with a friend. But not your best friend.

6. Chat Less Online and Be Less Responsive

One of the reasons why you ended up in the friend-zone was that you were there for your “friend” when he needed attention and someone to talk with. This is a pattern that, again, you created and your “friend” just maintained. Time to break this pattern as well!

When you are talking on social media, you need to make sure that you are not the guy who always keeps the conversation going, texting all the time, responding in a matter of minutes. Keep him longing for more, and leave it on him to make a move and start the conversation –but you have to be the one who ends it.

7 .Be Friendly. And Friendly Only

He put you into the friend-zone. Okay. So, he just wants to be friends with you. Fine! Be his friend. Be just a friendly guy he loves to hang out with. Even tell him that you that you admire him as a friend and you will immediately turn the tables.

Your “friend” will start to wonder: “Am I not good enough?” “Does he find me unattractive now?” “What is going on?” Yes, you guessed it right. He will be the one thinking about you and all the things that you could be. Not the other way round.

Be his friend. Not his bestie, but a friend, and do things with him that you would do with your friend.

Related: Straight Men Prefer Bromances Over Relationships with girls

8. Be a Great Company

People feel attracted to other people who make them laugh and feel happy. You need to be that kind of guy. A funny, great company that everybody wants to be friends with. Don’t keep bringing your “thing” up and don’t push him to a direction you are not ready to follow yet.

After all you are just friends. For now.

Flirting – you have to do it at least once

9 Be Sexual and Start Flirting

Another great reason why you ended up in the friend-zone is because he has not seen you in a sexual way. Time to change that, huh? How? Start flirting with him in a subtle, gentle way.

Drop some hints whenever there is a chance, touch him, look him in the eye, and dance close to him without making a move. Leave him wanting more, without making him feel weird. When you get You can also say stuff like “Don’t look at me like this. Stop flirting me!” Use some reverse psychology and make him think that he is the one who begs for your sexual attention.

However, you need to flirt with other guys too.

We are designed to want what we can’t have. Just think about all the expensive, luxurious items that you once wanted. Were they all so amazing? Would you want them if they were not that expensive and if you could afford them right away? The answer is no.

When you want something, you instantly want to have it. When it is too available, the desire to make it yours instantly declines. The only way to make yourself more “sellable,” is to just raise the stakes and be more “expensive.”

10. Time To Make a Move

Let’s just say that you have followed all the steps above. They all take time so don’t expect that things will change overnight. Being less available and him starting to miss you, for example, will take no less than twenty days to a month. So, be patient.

When you feel things have changed and you have caught his attention, it is time to make a move. Hug him when you are out at a nightclub and go for that kiss when you feel that his body language gives you the green light.

**insert sound of a kiss here**

Congratulations! You just got out of the friend-zone. And if you didn’t, congratulations! You are now ready to move on.