Does he like me?
Let’s face it – dating is hard. One of the most difficult parts of putting yourself out there is knowing how things are going. Maybe you’ve met a man and things have become flirtatious: you send each other cute pics, and when you bump into one another at events, the conversation is easy going.
Perhaps you’ve spent casual time together, but resist labeling it a “date.”
Over time, you begin to sense feelings stirring, deep inside. Before making any moves, you want to know if he feels the same. Fearful of rejection, you aren’t sure what to do. As a result, you keep quiet and hope things unfold in romantic ways.
Can you relate? If so, are you looking for ways to determine if a guy really likes you?
Here’s 5 ways of knowing for gay men.
1. He’s interested in your interests
Before you fall head over heels it’s worth asking yourself: does this guy know what my interests are? Could he name three of my hobbies? Does he know my favorite band?
This may seem like a no-brainer, but once I dated a man for three months before he even registered what I do for a living. If a guy likes you, he’ll take an interest in the things that you’re passionate about. He’ll ask questions and try to learn more about what’s important to you.
If he dismisses or ignores your interests, he’s probably not that into you and not worth your time anyway.
2. He looks for ways to spend time with you
If a man likes you, he’s going to want to spend time with you. If he sees you at a party or bumps into you at a club, he’ll be happy to see you and have the chance to be around you.
If he bails every time you try to make plans, it’s a sign that he might not be that interested.
However, a canceled plan doesn’t necessarily mean disinterest — sometimes unexpected things come up, and if he makes a genuine effort to reschedule it’s an indication that he’s at least interested in getting to know you better.
3. He’s good with your boundaries
Boundaries are just that – lines that aren’t crossed out of respect for another.
Creating and respecting one another’s boundaries is key to a successful relationship, even in the very early stages. Maybe you don’t want to have sex right away, or maybe your hectic work schedule means you can’t hang out as frequently or as late.
If a man really likes you, he’ll respect whatever boundaries you have and won’t ignore them or pressure you to change them.
4. He’s not in a rush
There’s an urban myth that’s been floating around for years in gaydom that suggests sleeping with a guy on the first date is a bad idea.
That’s complete nonsense.
If you both want to get it on during that first encounter, date or not, then go for it. Same goes with labels: if you’re both down to call each other boyfriends, then why not?
Alarm bells should ring if he tries to rush things — if he pressures you into hooking up or wants to put labels on things before you’re ready.
If he’s not willing to take the relationship at a pace that’s comfortable for you, he may be more into the idea of being in a relationship than actually listening to your wants and needs.
5. He’s tells you he’s into you
Probably the easiest way of knowing if a guy likes you is by simply asking him. This may seem obvious, but often the best answers are the simplest ones. Of course, this is easier said than done.
It requires you to screw up your courage, leave your ego at the door, and be prepared for rejection if you don’t receive the answer you were looking for. However, this straightforward approach is much more foolproof than trying to interpret his every action for some clue about how he feels.
It can be difficult to be so direct, but ultimately it will open the doors for you to have a more honest and intimate relationship in the future.