Does Using Lube While Giving Oral Help with Thick Monsters?

hairy shirtless man bed

When the guy is super thick

The Dilemma

I’ve been seeing a guy for a month now and I’ve got this problem. I don’t know how else to say it except to just come right out with it – the dude is HUGE.

I’m talking about a tree-trunk size piece of manhood.

His favorite thing is oral. I’m typically OK with this but because of his size, I struggle. Someone told me once lube can help. Is that really true or an old wives tale? Any suggestions?

-Cotton Mouth

The Solution

Hi, CM,

First, thanks for sending this question. A lot of gay men pride themselves in being able to handle “large” but very few share their tricks of the trade (no pun intended) on how to do it.

That said, the suggestions I’m going to give here are going to pretty much focus in on the activity you mentioned – oral play. For readers who are curious about bottoming for large guys, you’ll want to read this post on riding thick monsters.

OK, on to your question.

If your boyfriend is massive (and it sounds like he is) you’ve got a problem many visitors to this site would love to have. But what some don’t realize is that supersized can also present challenges, particularly when it comes to oral.

Just like other parts of your body, the human mouth is made up of various muscles. Here, I am talking about things like the Outer Masseter muscle and the Inner Masseter muscle (see link).

When stretched beyond their comfort zone, they have a tendency to tighten – and sometimes clamp up. While you didn’t say it, I can imagine that after you are done going down on your man, you’ve probably had a sore jaw. Sometimes, when we’re talking about beer can size, the pain can last for several days.

To help prevent this [and to answer your question], lube can help a lot. I’d like to quickly explain why through a few bullet points:

  • Lube allows you to use more than your mouth during the siphoning process.
  • Lubricant provides support to your hands so that your mouth doesn’t have to do all the work.
  • You can switch between your hand and mouth at various intervals.

gay oral

I’d like to add here that for most men, things start off narrow and get thicker as you head towards the base. And so, what you are hearing me say is that you don’t have to go all the way down to pleasure him.

I won’t go into all of the details here except to suggest reading this post on gay BJ tips. My point is that pleasure comes in a variety of ways.

Assuming you decide to go with some type of lube to help with oral, you probably want to know which one? I can only speak for myself when I tell you silicone does wonders.

I’m mentioning this because you’ll get a lot more slipperiness from silicone than you will with something else, like a water-based product.

I would stay away from numbing lubes because they can desensitize your mouth. You don’t want to scrape his junk with your teeth, right?

I have found that when dealing with guys with mushroom heads, silicone is particularly helpful. Which brand you go with is entirely up to you. Goodness knows there are tons on the market.

Finally, CM, I will leave you with this. Just like your anal muscles need to be trained for bottoming, your jaw needs to be acclimated to thickish monsters. Try to practice a little mindfulness when bobbing for apples (read between the lines). This can be enormously helpful.

Take your time with your man. Don’t be afraid to tell him that his size is a challenge for you. He’ll probably take it as a compliment and be careful when skull f-ing you.

Be sure to write us back and let us know how things are going!

Need some dating help? Email Jack, the Gay Dating Coach at: [email protected]

About Jack

Jack is a wise but mysterious figure whose exact whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he's really, really good at gay dating. He’s been on more dates than you can shake a stick at, and he’s here to help other gay men step up their game.