Iv’e Got a Huge D*ck But That Doesn’t Mean I’m a Top!

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Just because I am hung doesn’t mean I’m going to be your personal top.

Pedro from San Jose

I’m one of those guys who happens to be surprisingly hung. And while I’m not complaining about my endowment, I do take issue with some gay men making ridiculous assumptions about what I’m into.

First I want to state clearly that I’ve hooked up with guys who are smaller than me. On the same token, I’ve also spent time with men who are larger.

The truth is, I like all of the different lollipops under the rainbow (if you know what I mean). So this post isn’t about size shaming someone.

But I am sick and tired of gay men who think that just because I’m super large, it automatically means I’m a big ol’ top. Guess what people – I’m not!

The truth is I like to bottom. I’ve always preferred sleeping on the bottom bunk ever since I came out. That doesn’t mean that from time to time I won’t give a guy a ride but it’s NOT something I prefer.

But you would be amazed how many times I get crazy ass comments from men who assume I top or insult me because I don’t. Bear in mind, my hookup profiles clearly identify me as a bottom.

Here are just a few examples of messages I’ve received:

  • Oh, wow I bet you are an amazing top!
  • I am the best bottom in the world – stick it in me!
  • You can dominate me anytime with that man!
  • Are you sure I can’t persuade you to top me?
  • You prefer to bottom – what a total waste of a d*ick!

And that’s just what I hear from people online. What’s worse is when I show up to a guy’s place who said he was versatile, only to find out he’s looking to get banged out.

Talk about awkward.

Look, I completely get it. There’s something to be said about shape, size dimension and girth. But for Pete’s sake, don’t assume just because a guy is packing that he’s automatically a top man!

Part of me often wonders where some of these assumptions have come from. Is it the adult video industry? Maybe the emphasis on size in the world of gaydom? I honestly don’t know. But worse than the assumptions are the myths, which seem to be the stuff of urban legends.

And just so you know, having a big one isn’t always a good thing. How many guys have I met who think that just because I’m large, they have to be too?

I don’t think we’re a good match because I’m only average sized. I wish I had more.”

All I can do is shake my head and think – WTF?! First, why are you dissing yourself like that? Second, not every guy who has a big banana wants someone massive too.

But you’d be surprised just how often some gay men will make these kinds of statements.

Finally, I will close with this. When you assume that guys like me who have big d*cks are tops, you ruin any real chance of us doing other things.

Related: Man with huge penis shares dating woes

And did you ever consider that there’s more to gay sex than topping or bottoming?



  • justseb72

    Absolutely agree. I knew one Muslim bi-guy, really hung and fabulously handsome, who simply loved bottoming. Of course he topped me on request and did it like a proper male but the part of the play he enjoyed the most was getting f***ed. And I must admit it turned on me like hell – the guy like him, moaning and gasping, dominated by me. It’s something about the power or so…

    • J Russell

      I think I just wet myself with your story here my friend….Thank you! lol Sounds nice.

  • nebbish

    One of the most energetic tops I ever knew had a dick the size of a Vienna sausage but he made up for it with a refractory period of less than 30 minutes.

  • Mark

    I had a boyfriend years ago with a huge d*ck and he was very much a bottom.
    Worked for me. I am truly versatile so every now and then he would top. His
    first choice was for me be his top may. Worked out fine.