When I first pitched this story to the amazing Chief Editor of Gay Pop Buzz, John, I had this feeling that he would reject my it because it would sound a lot like “How To Be a Selfish Prick and Successfully Cheat on Your Boyfriend.”
However, I rushed to explain that this is just about having a secret gay relationship that you want to keep private. Not an affair per se.
I know. You are now wondering: Why should I have a secret relationship. Well, although the circumstances may vary, there are still many reasons for someone to dive right into a secret relationship.
You might be in the closet, you might want to protect your personal life from your friends and family, or you may just feel more excited when your relationship is basically a secret to the public.
How To Maintain a Secret Gay Relationship
Whatever the reason might be, we’ve got you covered. Here are eight tips to keep your personal relationship extremely personal and not let anyone invade the space that you want to keep restricted.
Tip #1: Mind Your Social Media Activity
Social media are great for communication and engaging with the most important people in your life. Social media are also great for stalking. But I bet you knew that already –who doesn’t do it, after all, right?
If someone wants to find out some dirt about you, they will most probably turn to social media to gather the information they need. So keep it low and discreet when you are interacting online with your …”secret Valentine.”
Don’t like every single post they publish, don’t leave comments all the time, and try to interact with each other exactly as you would with a friend.
Tip#2: Remember, Your Phone May Give You Away
Apart from social media, you own phone can work as a great tool to give out a secret of yours. The only thing people have to see in order to have some second thoughts about you being honest or not is your notifications screen.
Make sure you turn them off and do not allow your screen to light up every time you receive a message or a phone call. Oh, and now that I mentioned texts and calls, make sure you edit your BF’s contact details. You don’t want his name or his picture to show up when you are among people who do not know about him.
Tip #3: Don’t Spend Too Much Time Alone With Each Other
It only takes one thing to trigger surmise. After that people will start having second thoughts about you and your personal life. Spending too much time with your secret better half is a good way to raise suspicions.
I know that asking you to step back from seeing the person that you love sounds too much. And when you involved in a secret relationship, all this desire to touch, kiss and see your boyfriend increases. I am just saying that you need to take it a little bit slower and not meet every single day.
You can do this!
Tip #4: Practice Acting as Just Friends
If your secret boyfriend is part of your inner circle, you need to follow this advice. However, you still want to read this in case you two come across someone who knows nothing about your secret relationship.
Practice your …acting skills and try to figure out how you will be able to convince people that you are just friends with your guy. And then practice more. Be as much convincing as possible.
Tip #5: Don’t Forget That It’s a Secret
Have you ever watched “Pretty Little Liars?” Do you remember a specific lyric from the show’s intro song? “Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.”
Hey! Don’t go out slaughtering people you have told your secrets to. Just be picky when you choose the persons you share your information with. People talk. In fact, people love to talk about other people.
Tip #6: Make a List of Secret Meeting Spots
Now it sounds like hiding an affair, doesn’t it? But it is not.
If you hide your relationship from your friends or your family, you don’t want them to see you together, right? As a result, you need to avoid any common meeting places. Make a list of bars or restaurants you love and that you know that prying eyes do not visit often.
This way you are increasing your chances of keeping your love life a secret.
Tip #7: Don’t Make Your Guy Feel Unwanted
A secret gay relationship is great. It makes things more passionate, more heated, more …hot. However as time goes by, one of the two parties will have more demands and they will ask for more attention. Try to find some balance between making your guy feeling unworthy and spending too much time with him.
If you neglect him, you will argue, and if you spend too much time together you will raise suspicion. We know. It sounds like hard work but nobody said it was going to be easy, guys.
Tip #8: Set a Time Limit
You were not going to keep this going undercover forever, were you? Secret relationships cannot go on forever.
A couple of months? Yes. Maybe six to ten months maximum. After a specific period of time, you have to come out as a couple and tell the world about the deep love that you and your boyfriend have been sharing.
Love cannot remain a secret for too long. And if you don’t feel the need to come out, maybe you were more in love with the idea of having a secret gay relationship than with the actual person you are in a relationship with.
After you reveal your secret, things are not going to be easy. People will wonder why you “shut them out” while others may get angry that you didn’t trust them enough to make an exception and tell them everything.
Be polite. Explain the reasons why you could not go public in the beginning, and, if they do not understand, just let them be. They will get over it.