How to Rinse semen from your eye
Have you ever had a guy shoot semen in your eye? If so, you likely know it hurts. If you haven’t, let me assure you that it’s not fun!
Recently, I found myself in a temporary state of panic after my “on again off again” boyfriend released prematurely. Normally, I swallow him up like Jonah the Whale because that’s our thing.
But on this particular occasion, I never got the chance. That’s because when I was doing my best to make out like a human blowfish, he released like a water pistol – right into my right eye.
“Oh my God – I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that! Are you OK? Do you need anything?” I can still hear him saying as I cupped my hand over my face.
The reason getting semen in the eye hurts so much is because the white sauce contains a high amount of sodium and zinc. Combined, they make for a fiery liquid that burns sensitive ocular tissue.
Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) I knew just what to do. That’s because in the past, I had something similar happen with an ex.
Given these experiences, I felt inspired to pen this piece. What follows are 5 tips for removing semen from your eye in the safest, quickest way possible.
Are you ready to learn more? Check it out.
1. Don’t touch your eye
As hard as it is going to be, do not touch your eye. The natural inclination will be to rub your eye because it’s burning. All I can tell you is don’t.
Here’s why – rubbing may cause seminal fluids to spread to other ocular areas. And because you are dealing with globules, the pressing motions (like rubbing) can create an expansion effect.
More: Guys with blue eyes!
Bite your tongue or pinch your skin but whatever you do, don’t touch your eye until the next step.
2. Wash your hands
Before you can get that white chocolate out of your peeps, you’ll want to wash your hands with soap and water. No need to make matters worse by causing an infection, right?
You can do this in a sink or the shower. This leads us to our next point – getting the spunk out.
3. Rinse your eye out with tap water
In an ideal world, you’d have plenty of time to get distilled water for rinsing. But let’s be real, when a guy does his best archer impression on your face, there’s little time for the finer things in life.
According to most credible research, it’s completely safe to use tap water for this function. There are several approaches you can take here.
If the faucet is adjustable, use lukewarm water and set to a low pressure. Using one hand, pull open the upper and lower areas of the skin of the injured eye wide. Use the other hand to hold the faucet and rinse.
Water is going to splash everywhere. It’s unavoidable. Do this continuously for at least 10-minutes.
If possible, jump into the shower. Using lukewarm water, prop open your eye with one free hand and let low pressure water do the rinsing. Do this for at least 10 minutes.
The reason showering is ideal is because of the angle. Additionally, most showerheads have jettisons that are designed to deliver precision h2o delivery.
4. Get a warm compress
After you are done rinsing your eye out, it’s a good idea to apply a warm compress. Let me explain why.
The compresses will help stop any remaining stinging. Additionally, warm compresses encourage your tearing ducts to become activated, which helps to remove any remaining residue from his essence.
Obviously, use a clean washcloth to avoid infection.
5. Get an STI screening
Unless you are 100% sure the person who fountained on your eye is STI free, it’s important to make an appointment for testing. It doesn’t happen often but there have been cases of ocular syphilis and gonorrhea.
Just be up front with your medical doctor about what happened. Unless your physician is a complete jerk, like the one who shamed this man for anal warts, you have no reason to be embarrassed.
Your doctor may ask you to come back in 10-12 weeks for follow up testing just to make sure you are clear of STI’s.
The best approach to removing semen from the eye is to avoid it happening in the first place. While not always possible, there are things you can do minimize occurrences.
Talk to your sexual partner in advance and develop a “signal”. When he’s about to erupt like a volcano, get him to aim away from you.
Finally, if your man has a history of premature explosions, figure out a strategy that minimizes ocular contact with semen.
I hope you found this post helpful – thanks for reading!
Chemical Properties of Human Semen
Emergency Showers from OSHA
Ocular Syphilis from CDC