He wants to get into a form of kink you’ve never tried
Six months ago, I started dating a guy I met on an app. Everything has been going great and I think that it’s very possible he may be “the one”.
There’s just one problem …
Every so often, he asks about water sports. Specifically, he wants me to pee on him. I’ve never done this before and the thought of it kind of creeps me out. However, I’m not completely opposed.
So far, I’ve been able to change the topic when he brings it up. But I don’t think I going to be able to do this much longer. I really love my man am not sure what to do. Any advice?
You have an interesting problem and one that I bet several readers of this column can relate to. I’m going to jump into providing an answer but first, I’d like to explain what water sports are for folks who may not know.
In a nutshell, “watersports” involve acts of urination during sex. There are all sorts of ways people partake in these activities (gay and straight) so I won’t go into all of them.
That said, here are the biggies:
- Golden shower: Urinating on another or being urinated on.
- Golden bath: Urinating in someone’s rectum.
- Urophagia: drinking urine or watching someone else drink.
Because I don’t know what kind of watersports your man wants to try, it’s difficult to offer specific advice. That said, I can address the larger issue from the 30,000 feet perspective.
To accomplish this, I’m going to approach things using a series of “What” questions.
What creeps you out about it?
Some people can’t handle this form of kink because they think of it as gross and disgusting. Others don’t like it because they see the act of peeing on another as humiliating.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, which one? Assuming it is the first part, it may be helpful to rethink this a bit and look at the dynamic through the lens of bonding.
The truth is when two people engage in watersports, there’s usually a high degree of trust present. I’m not saying this is always the case but in many situations, that’s exactly what’s going on.
What if you knew that by partaking in watersports, your relational bond would become enhanced? Would that insight change your perspective? Worried about safety? If so, you might want to check out this article by Hornet that explores the topic.
What would it be like to try?
Again, not knowing what your man wants to do, it’s difficult to make suggestions. You mentioned that it “kind of creeps you out” but at the same time, you also said you weren’t opposed.
I’m wondering what it would be like to try something basic, like letting him stream on you or the other way around – while in the shower? Would that make you feel weird?
Now before you answer that, think about it for a moment.
Would it really be that bizarre? Is it really that different from other activities, such as gay breeding and seeding? Your boyfriend likely wants to do this with you because it turns him on. Additionally, he may want to share something intimate with you as a way of fostering closeness.
Now I will be the first to admit that not everyone is into watersports. Speaking only for myself, it’s not my fav. That said, much depends on the guy.
Several years ago, I was involved with someone who wanted me to give him a golden bath. When he first asked, I kind of freaked out. But over the course of time and after giving it some thought, I agreed.
I won’t lie to you – I struggled with this activity a lot. In fact, the first couple of times, I couldn’t do it. It was like my mind was saying “yes” but my peen was saying “no”. It took lots and lots of mindful meditation before I was finally able to get the pipes to flow, so to speak.
What I learned through the experience was that I actually liked doing this with him. Part of my pleasure was derived from his excitement. In case you are wondering, he didn’t do this to me. But I did let him stream on me once – something I found to be surprisingly hot.
Here’s the deal. Most all of us have our thing. For some, it’s basic vanilla. For others, they gravitate towards tangible things, like jock straps. And for others, it’s all about being fed or feeding.
What do you have to lose?
If you are open to the experience, you owe it to yourself and your relationship to give it a whirl. Obviously, you need to engage in ways that fit within your comfort zone. That’s why I mentioned the shower thing earlier.
But if you simply can’t because it truly creeps you out, your boyfriend will have to understand. In my experience, however, most guys who are into watersports find the experience exhilarating.
Would not partaking be a deal breaker for your man?
You may not know the answer to this. If that’s the case, what would it be like to talk to him about it? And while you are at it, why not ask him why watersports turns him on?
LW, I can’t tell you what to do. Nobody can make another “like” a certain activity. But if there is even a part of you who is opening to trying, why not see how you respond?
There are really only two outcomes. One is you will be completely turned off and can’t do it. The other possibility is that you might actually like it.
But you’ll never know unless you try.
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