When does aggressive play go too far?
A long running fantasy (for better or worse) is the idea of a straight jock suddenly going gay. While this can be fun to think about, at what point do real-life behaviors cross a line? Can a self-identified straight guy engage in rough housing to the point that it becomes sexual assault?
Recently, a reader shared with us a story he came across about a closeted gay man who became traumatized by his “straight” lifelong friend. You may be wondering what happened?
All we can do is share what appeared on Ask Gay Bros in a thread entitled: Strange Moment with Straight Friend?
Here’s what a person named “Tittyclamp” wrote:
“I already know that this is going to read like some schoolboy fantasy garbage, which is why I didn’t post about this earlier, but whatever. Okay, so I’ve been friends with this guy, Mario, since middle school. I’m closeted, and as much as I hate these standards, I’m more or less “straight-acting/passing/masculine” whatever you want to call it.
My friends are mostly jocks, very athletic, masculine, etc.. It is totally normal for my friends to joke around physically in a “homoerotic” way for shits and giggles. I never thought anything of it, because the “gayness” of the acts were the butt of the joke, and it seemed to be pretty normal looking at other male groups of friends. We’ve also always been pretty open with physical affection.”
OK, we can judge him on the whole “straight-acting, passing, masculine” language. There’s certainly plenty that’s cringeworthy about that. However, the heart of what this post is really about isn’t word choice. Instead, it’s about behavior.
Here’s what he shared next.
“Anyways, last weekend I was hanging out/smoking a little weed at Mario’s house, it was us and several others. The others left between 1-2 AM, but Mario was my ride, so I was kind of stranded there until he felt like taking me home.
I was sitting there f—— around on Twitter, and he takes my phone out of my hand, and we wrestle over it for…who knows how long 5-10 minutes? I wasn’t particularly amused. That’s my baby. I don’t play around with my phone.
After this wrestling session ends, I get back on Twitter, laying on my stomach on the floor, and like thirty seconds later maybe, he announces that he’s got a chub. Thinking that he is joking, I laugh, but before I know it he’s lain down on top of me, with his d— (which feels rock hard, not like a chub), pressed right against the cleft of my ass.
I kind of freeze in shock for a second, because even though my friends can get pretty “gay,” this is a whole new level, and when I try to kind of roll him off, he digs his elbow into my back, where I am notoriously sensitive.
So I give up, and mutter something trying to play it off, and decide to just ignore him so he’ll get bored. I turn my phone screen off and just put my head down and lay there for a few seconds, and he starts running his dick up and down my ass crack, which is where I just do the worm basically and throw him off. He laughs it off, of course, and sits there (his erection very apparent), breathing heavy af, and I wait a few moments pretending to fuck around on my phone and ask for a ride home.”
Going by what Titty clamp wrote, it sounds like his friend became sexually aggressive to the point that might argue sexual assault took place.
The poster continues with his experience.
“I’ll admit that I’ve looked at this guy before and had fleeting thoughts like “damn he could get it” but I feel weirdly…traumatized by this incident? It seems ridiculous to say, but it was really unpleasant. I’ve been avoiding him since then.”
So the question for you to think about is simply this. Did Tittyclamp’s so called “straight friend” cross a line? If so, where was it?
Here’s part of how the Reddit poster wrapped up his post:
“I’m starting to feel paranoid, like it was a joke, and I didn’t get it, or something, but I really feel like…the atmosphere in that moment really felt like he would have fucked me there and then if I’d let him or reciprocated.”